Feeling like I'm in an under water deep dive of tiredness

Hello, I'm new here. Well, I've lurked a bit & read several posts but this is the first that I've felt able to write my own story. It is very helpful to read advice here and it's nice to know that there are others who "get" this grief. I am 44 years old and I lost my Husband of 26 years suddenly on August 10, 2018. Then just 6 months later, I lost my Dad suddenly on February 19, 2019.
Every new 'first' seems so hard, doesn't it? Like going to the grocery store & not buying that hot mustard that my husband liked (that I never cared for) or going to the library without my Dad & then picking up the phone to call him to ask him a question before hanging up quickly after I realized why he's not answering his phone.
Last Autumn, I had found a book that helped with losing my Spouse called, "Lost my partner- what'll I do?" By Laurie J. Spector & Ruth Spector Webster. Highly recommend it to those of you who are looking for practical advice.
The deep dive of tiredness that I've been feeling seems to have settled in on me. I think this is due to attempting to be there for my Mom- who is dealing with losing her spouse of 55 years- while I've barely processed losing my own spouse. I really could use some help! I've found myself crying for hours today. Will this tiredness ever lessen? Will the feeling of loneliness change?
Thank you so much for reading & I hope you all find a couple of good hours amongst all the not so good ones -Jenna Fitz

 

I’m so sorry that you are going through such grief also. I lost my soulmate husband in June 2018. I lost my mom several years earlier, then my dad In 2014. While dealing with my Dad’s things, my sister (only sibling) passed away suddenly just 60 days after my dad. My husband of 19 years was all I had left, i have no children. I feel like I’m never going to be ok. Thank you for recommending the book. I’m going to look into it!
Take care...