Lost my husband 12/17/15. He was 71 and 2 weeks from retirement. We had bought a new house and a new boat so he could finally enjoy himself. He suffered a sudden cardiac arrest. We were married 45 years. My life ended when his did. I cried every day for 2 1/2 years and when things got a bit better, at least crying wasn’t every single day, I had an accident and fractured my knees. So for the past 4 months I have been bedridden and all the grief from losing him has come back full blast. So I just lie here and crying every day missing him and wishing he could be here helping me. He was my rock and miss him dearly. Being bedridden I have too much time to think. Try to be positive but emotionally and physically I am a wreck.
MargieOno, so sad to hear of the loss of your husband. I lived in Weston, Florida for ten years until we moved back to Maine. My older brother lives in Bradenton, Florida. December 15th of this year would have been our 46th wedding anniversary. I felt the same way of life ending when my wife Nadine slowly waned away with cancer. She was my rock, my foundation, the person in my life who always listened to me, even when she might be sick, troubled or mad. Those tears you shed are of your love for him. Memories rush into and out of our mind as we remember, or perhaps see something around us. Those tender times are amazingly hard to face at times, but if you think about it, you are thinking about all he meant to you. That grief is enormously hard, but also helpful, because you are taking a small step into an unknown of the rest of your life that goes toward healing your mind and soul. I have created two threads, https://www.griefincommon.com/threads/the-good-in-our-world-part-2.1415/ and https://www.griefincommon.com/threads/the-good-in-our-world.1324/ Within those are music to help soothe your mind, some lectures on dealing with grief, and stories of the good things that happen in the world each and everyday. I hope that if you check them out, they might bring back a memory or/and make you feel somewhat better. Wow, with your own accident it must be very hard each day for you. I know how when we have nothing else but time on our hands, good and bad thoughts sometimes overwhelm us. The loneliness you are experiencing is the toughest thing to overcome. Just do the best you can for yourself each day, and please remember you are not alone in your grief. You have taken a positive step by coming here and posting. God Bless you.
