Hey everyone, I started therapy 3 weeks ago for anxiety but have realised a lot of it is a defense mechanism for the death of my dad. He died when I was 14. He wasn't just my dad but also my best friend and a role model. I've come here to try to start connecting with people. I'm scared to start grieving or wonder if I have started? I'm kind of confused to be honest. I feel lost, emptiness, tired and I keep feeling like I want to cry. It's been 13 years and I feel stupid because it's like I'm only just starting to open the door on this. I have always been very closed off about my dad and everything that happened. After he died I went into a mode of looking after my mum and older sister. I suppose I took the role of 'man of the house'. I just felt anger for years and then it turned into anxiety which has been for years. I haven't really said goodbye to him, I don't believe there is closure but I believe it would be good to say goodbye some how? I'm hoping you guys can help or I can find people I can relate with.