1. Angie Richy

    Angie Richy New Member

    How can i get my grownup and moved out kids to accept that when i date im not tryin to replace their dad? We were soul mates and il never find that kinda love again but i was only 45 when i was a widow...too young to sit at home alone waiting to die..#Angry xx
    Linda Gale and Charmin like this.

    KIKI2LUV4EVER New Member

    I know how you feel with 2 adult children and I'm 65 and also feel it's time to try!
    ainie and Linda Gale like this.
  3. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    To Angie & Kiki- thank you for sharing your struggles with us here. I feel like this is the part of grieving that no one wants to talk about. As uncomfortable as people can be with grief, they may find it even harder to see the griever try to move forward. Only you can understand the true experience of being a widow, and it's important to take your own needs into consideration. We have an article on our blog page regarding dating again after the loss of a spouse. You can find it here: http://www.griefincommon.com/blog/dating-after-the-loss-of-a-spouse/. You may want to share some of this information with your children as well to help them try to understand. It's a tricky balance, because of course they will always mourn the loss of their father, but you need to continue forward in the way that feels right for you as well. I wish you both the best of luck. Please let us know if we can be of any further support to you, and please take care~
    Kata likes this.
  4. Angie Richy

    Angie Richy New Member

    It makes it harder that the guy im.:dating" keeps me on a long leash..blows hot n cold...wants me to visit and stay over every night fer a wile then i dont hear from him!! Then he says im a skitso for calling him out on his behaviour!!..Makes me miss my husband all the more...
    Lostrightnow and griefic like this.
  5. Andrea Howey

    Andrea Howey Member

    Angie , I so understand this comment . It makes you angry at your spouse for putting back in this situation. You look for your husband in everyone you meet . There just isn't another man that compares . How do you seperate the old with the new . And adult children having to have their say , really did I do that to you when you were looking for someone to love . Lets not forget I am Mom . Just want a companion someone to do thi gs with dinner , movies , outing and such . Nobody deserves to be ali e .
    Linda Gale likes this.
  6. Celeste3

    Celeste3 New Member

    Lose him!
    Linda Gale and LindaH like this.
  7. Rob B

    Rob B Member

    I was surprised when a woman (friend of a friend ) whom I've up till recently only spoken to casually asked me to coffee. I accepted and had a nice friendly conversation. This has now grown to include a couple dinner dates. I'll never forget the wonderful life which Cheryl and I shared but it really feels nice to be held again and have someone want to be with you. After my wife's death, I honestly didn't care if I would have dropped dead or not, almost wishing it some days. Just know that there is life after the darkness of a loved ones death. You may not see it now, but there is always hope. Take care.
    Kata, ainie, Bogman and 6 others like this.
  8. Charmin

    Charmin New Member

    I am a recent widow of 6 months and only in my early 40's. I've thought a lot about dating in recent months and then scold myself because I feel like it would be too soon for dating. I feel I think about it because my husband was ill fro 2 yrs before he passed and was very difficult to be with because of his anger. During hard times I would think of how nice it would be to go out with a nice guy and just have a good time without all of the push and pull with marriage. However, as difficult as my husband was in those last 2 yrs of his life, he was my perfect companion. We balanced each other. He "got" me and I "got" him. He always called me his angel and his best friend. I miss him terribly and am skeptical if I will meet a guy who will thrill me like my husband did. Still there is that pressing need for companionship, someone to enjoy things with. I won't rule out re-marriage but I'm open to in maybe 5 yrs. In the meantime I want to enjoy my freedom and dating on my terms. I totally relate to one of the comments about being mad at your spouse for putting you back "out there". My husband definitely had issues that annoyed me to no end but the love I had for him made those things bearable. My single friends in their 40's and 50's do not give me a lot of hope for having fun dating. So I'm just asking God to strengthen me and calm me down so that I'm desperate for the attention of a man.

    My husband and I were a blended family. Both of his daughters are adults. One of mine is an adult and my son is 14, which is why I wldn't get married again until he's out of high school. But I don't foresee a problem from any of them when I start dating again.
    William57 and Linda Gale like this.
  9. Sara K Hatch

    Sara K Hatch Well-Known Member

    Dear Charmin,
    Believe it or not I lost my husband of 46 years six months ago and joined eharmony.com last week. I have had no connections yet and the more i think about it the more I think I should wait for at least a year. I don't believe that I am emotionally ready for any kind of relationship. My husband had Parkinson's and I took care of him pretty much full time the last 4 years. He was my best friend and soul mate. And yet it is very lonely without him. I am getting more and more involved in social gatherings and talking with friends, etc. This really helps me cope with missing him.
    I think it's just fine that you put your faith in God and trust that you will be lead to the right person or right decision. Much good luck.
  10. Linda Gale

    Linda Gale New Member

    Definitely LOSE HIM ASAP!!