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Daddy's Little Girl...

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Emmy- Lou, Mar 21, 2017.

  1. Emmy- Lou

    Emmy- Lou New Member

    Will I ever feel normal again??? Will I ever feel whole???

    My Dad passed away in December from Parkinson's Disease and my world has been forever changed.

    My Dad was a SAHD (stay at home dad) when I was growing up. He was always older than other Dads with kids my age. So much so, everyone thought he was my grandpa.

    My dad and I had a very special bond. I was a Daddy's Girl through and through. We built things together, had inside jokes together and we both loved captain crunch.

    We laughed together and cried together. He taught me how to be self sufficient and a strong, independent woman. He taught me the value of work. I was his little helper.

    He was my everything. I miss him more than I can express through words.

    Everyday is a struggle to act normal and hide my sorrow. I cry often when I am alone, but it's silent so as not to bring attention to my grief. Grief is messy and people don't want to deal with the aftermath. They can't be bothered with tears and sadness. There isn't time.

    So...I lie. I tell everyone I am doing well and pretend every thing is grand. They don't see how hollow and completely gutted I am by the loss of my dad. How every day is a battle to keep my emotions from overwhelming me every second of every day.

    I just want someone to acknowledge my pain so I don't have to carry this weight of grief alone. Or even someone to sit and cry with me.

    But I am all alone. Lost in a sea of grief and deep sorrow.
     
  2. Emma

    Emma New Member

    Dear Emmy-Lou,
    I wanted to write to let you know that I totally identify with what you write. I too lost my dad unexpectedly who was killed in a road traffic collision, he was everything to me, always there, always teaching me and always caring. He was my hero and I get the part about your loneliness, I think in grief something happens and you just feel totally isolated, you don't feel like you can share that pain or even express it because others find it difficult or uncomfortable to hear but the whole time inside you just scream because all you want to do is share those memories or those thoughts with people who understand what that pain feels like. You are not alone, I promise you. Just keep going xx