Confused

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Jsweet314, Jun 17, 2020.

  1. Jsweet314

    Jsweet314 New Member

    I lost my mom last month Suddenly. She was sick and I knew that but I didn't know so sick she was going to die. We were estranged. I also lost my grandfather the day after. His death was not Sudden.
    I feel confused...about my life. I want to buy things I've always wanted and do things, run away, travel, quit my job, don't know if I am meant to be a stay at home mom...I am lost in my own identity since their deaths. Is that normal?
     
  2. RLC

    RLC Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry for your losses! I can’t even imagine losing two close family members so close in time.
    I’m thinking you’re feeling are you wanting to run away because the truth is so hard to comprehend and deal with. When I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack, I went into shock and I was just the opposite. I didn’t want to do or go anywhere. Losing our loved ones is so painful and we all deal in different ways. After such a loss it’s recommended to not do or make any big life changes for at least a year. Because our thought process isn’t thinking like it should.
    This site and the people on here are great help. We all know your pain and understand how you feel. Keep reading other people’s stories and sharing your own, it does help.
    Thinking of you and sending hugs! Robin
     
    mmasci and JoNas like this.
  3. Cora1961

    Cora1961 Well-Known Member

    I also loss my wonderful husband last October and it’s shocking to your system. I also ran so I didn’t want to face the truth but now with the virus it has hit you in the face and it’s still hard to accept. Trying to spend time with the kids and grandchildren has helped but doesn’t feel my empty heart. I think we all will always have a empty spot in our lives for our missing love ones. Just try to take one day at a time and breathe. God bless
     
    JoNas likes this.
  4. Chessi

    Chessi Member

    It's normal to desire a change or a new experience. Maybe take an unexpected weekend road trip or something of that sort which won't harm your financial or interpersonal life. Join a group for a cause you care about.

    Self-exploration is a big part of grief for many people. It's been part of my grief too. The way you viewed the world no longer makes sense with this new loss, so coping takes some restructuring.

    It goes without saying, but I'm sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. I understand that it's confusing. Remember grief is a logical response to an extreme event. You'll probably have a lot of confusing feelings, and that's okay.

    Remember on your darkest days that you'll be okay. One foot in front of the other. Just keep swimming and it will get better. That's got me through some long nights.

    Wishing you love and peace,

    Chessi