Cleaning up after loss of spouse

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by FoundaGoodThing2002, Apr 17, 2019 at 9:56 AM.

  1. FoundaGoodThing2002

    FoundaGoodThing2002 New Member

    Hi all,

    I've read many stories about how people handle personal belongings, areas of the house, etc after a spouse passes. I am firmly of the belief that you should leave things alone, as long as you'd like, and don't let ANYONE tell you that you need to "clean that up"/"throw it away"/etc. If you don't like my messy house, you can LEAVE, your attitude is not welcome here.

    There are a few exceptions. Like most cancer patients, my wife had her own personal pharmacy of dangerous medications. I made sure to get those out of the house ASAP. Same with any food that she left out or plants/flowers that are going to get nasty if left for too long.

    I'm struggling a little bit with things like bedding and towels. Proper hygiene would suggest that I should change these at some point, but I really don't want to. I had to strip the bed the other day because I was looking for something, but I couldn't bring myself to change the sheets. My wife slept on those sheets. I want to keep those on the bed as long as I possibly can. Same with the towels, we have several sets of his/her towels in the bathroom and I refuse to change the current set out.

    I guess what I'm asking is, how long is reasonable to keep using these items before it becomes unbearably gross, and even then, do I really care if I stink? I have no one to impress.

    Please share your stories and thoughts.
  2. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Active Member

    You will know when it's time. The sheets will have to be laundered, as well as the towels in the bathroom. Keep something of hers, like a robe or blouse. Something that has her scent. I still have my Dad's bathrobe and he died in 1980. It wraps me in love, and yes. I do wash it. Just looking at it and touching it makes me feel safe. You will get there. It is just too soon