LOOKING FOR A GRIEF GROUP? Next General Grief Support Tuesday August 3 at 2 pm EST - Join us!


Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Scorpio05, Jan 18, 2020.

  1. Scorpio05

    Scorpio05 Member

    Lost my husband to cancer I was his wife caregiver watched and him suffer through countless surgeries chemo treatments stem cell rescue constant pain as the cancer spread to his brain , he was just 45. I find that every pain I have was his pain. I'm scared all the time that will be sick too. I have severe anxiety of doctors and hospitals. We spent so much time in hospitals I have nightmares . Has anyone else experience this. I feel like I'm scared 24/7. Everyone tells me go to doctors, I just can't the fear is unbearable. Has anyone else felt like this ?
  2. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Well-Known Member

    Scorpio. I believe that is called avoidance. You are running from what? You don't know so why do you think that what you find out will be your worst nightmare? Maybe you need some professional help or maybe a tiny does of ant-anxiety meds. There is probably nothing wrong and you will feel so free after you go to the doctor and get a check up! Take a friend with you to the doctor. Don't do it alone. Peace
  3. edj9

    edj9 Well-Known Member

    Hi Scorpio. I was sole caregiver to my husband also for 2 years before he died. Like your husband, there were countless hospital stays and doctor visits and procedures and medications. And all the while I watched his health decline and yet had to remain functional so I could care for him, and also take care of our home. Most of my meager free time was spent desperately combing the web for more information on his conditions, or looking for new solutions to our problems. The only way I think I got through such sustained stress is with the help of a pill called Lexapro. It’s a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, or SSRI. This means that it functions not by artificially stimulating or dampening your moods, but by preventing your brain cells from reabsorbing the serotonin that you naturally produce so that you have more of it floating around to help you cope with anxiety. I noticed a marked difference in my ability to compartmentalism my anxiety from my cognitive processes and just do what needed to be done. It was like I could wall off the fear and grief because I knew that they were dysfunctional.

    If you are suffering from such intense anxiety that it impairs your function, could it be PTSD? Despite your fear of doctors, I would at least try to get a referral to see a psychiatrist and ask him about Lexapro, or another SSRI. It won’t make the grief go away. You won’t magically be happy again, but it may help even out your moods and lessen the anxiety.