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Broken heart

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Kim r, Dec 4, 2016.

  1. Kim r

    Kim r New Member

    my husband was 14 years older than me. He just passed away a couple weeks ago, the day after thanksgiving. My heart is so broken. We worked together and were with each other 24 hours a day. I can't escape the pain at home or at work and even though I have our dog, we had no children together and I'm finding it so very difficult to adjust to the alone. He took care of everything and would never teach me basic things about how to care for myself, which adds fear to the mix. I feel like I just keep telling everyone I'm fine but inside I am falling apart.
     
  2. N Lombaert

    N Lombaert New Member

    Hello Kim, my husband passed away on the 25th of September, he was also 14 years older than me. We worked a business from home together, and basically spent every minute together too, we had been married for 12 years. I feel the same about the "aloneness", it just seems to be a constant heaviness. I have found that saying yes to people and actually having a list of things that you help with really helpful, I'm not one to ask for help, but I did get tired of people saying "well, if there's anything I can do just ask", it is then that I say, well, actually could you look at my list and see what you can help me with? I have two kids which keep me relatively busy during the day, but then means that the loneliness hits hard at night. My heart is with you. xoxox
     
    griefic likes this.
  3. Hi Kim, I just found this site sitting here trying to watch mindless TV while my daughter is staying with me for a few days. She's from California, I'm in Michigan. My husbands visitation was two days ago, December 22. He died in my living room on the 19th, from, which I've been told, a heart attack. Rick and I started a company 22 years ago, we worked and lived together since we met. I am so lost without him: I'm taking sleeping pills at night and just exist during the day. I miss him with a pain I can't describe. I physically hurt. I'm so jealous of others, I want people around and I don't. I have a dog who doesn't listen to me. Christmas presents he bought days ago, continued to be delivered at the door. My house is Rick. There is so much sorrow: and our business was our only income. I don't know if I can do his job, and don't know where to get help. I'm just rambling.

     
  4. Tobias

    Tobias New Member

    Wow Kim, our stories are nearly the exact same. I don't know if you get these replies, but here we go. My wife of 24 years passed away 5 weeks ago today on Nov. 26, we too were together 24-7 except when she went off on an errands or with friends. During that 24 years we were apart maybe 10 days. Again, the same, she was 12 years older, we have two small dogs, she took care of everything, the bills, the plans, everything, and we too did not have children. I to am so lost. The worst times are mornings and evenings when I am home alone. During the day I am with friends and family so I am well distracted. However when I am home alone it is so hard. I want to be home, but then again I want to be somewhere else but home because of the emptiness. I am shedding tears thinking of Connie while writing this reply. I don't know where to go from here on this reply, just hope you know know you are not alone. Tobias
     
  5. Nancy bucklin

    Nancy bucklin New Member

    I know how you feel. My husband passed away in September, and while I have my kids they are grown adults and so it is just me and the dogs at home. The silence is deafening.
     
  6. Chrissy

    Chrissy New Member

     
  7. Chrissy

    Chrissy New Member

    I can relate somewhat, I was married to a wonderful man for 22 years 10 years older than me. He died this January after a short illness. It was not expected and horrifying. I have three teenage daughters to keep me busy, but the nights are so lonesome. All of my friends are married, I find it hard to be around them
     
  8. Lanee

    Lanee New Member

    It breaks my heart to read these stories. My boyfriend died on December 15th quite suddenly. He went into the hospital and never came out. I have two daughters that were in a near fatal car accident just 2 weeks before my Eric was admitted to the same hospital. My youngest daughter was in the ICU room 2 doors from the room I lost him in. I had to move my stuff out of his house and move back with my girls. Thankfully I have them. I have not gone back to work fulltime, my daughter is working two jobs and is having difficulty driving so I drive 20 hrs a week getting her to and from work. We are looking to move as soon as we have the money to do so as we are not from Colorado and only came here to be near Eric. We were not married as we were waiting for our children to be on their own before we took the next step. We met when we were 19 yr old kids and then went on to be married to other people for 20 years and reconnected after the end of both our marriages. We were together for 5 1/2 years before the devastating loss. I have been in a fog since his loss. He was my soul mate and I feel like the rest of my life is again changed. The loss of my marriage was far easier. My daughters are devastated as he was like a dad to them in the absence of their father. I even went to a psychic with his mother and feel some comfort from that. I know I am not reinventing the wheel on this. I just feel utter devastation. His children are hurting as well and I have tried to help where they will allow. Ive gotten pretty close to his siblings in all this. Feels like Im drownding some days. I dont really want to talk to most people even my parents that are in our home state of Washington.