I recently began the grieving process. My mom passed away in 2016, and it has been a difficult adjustment for me. Before we knew she was sick my mom disappeared for two weeks, no one knew where she was or what happened to her. That was the first clue that she was not in her right mind. When my dad found her, he made sure she saw a doctor. 1 month after that she had a stroke, this happened in 2010. Immediately after she had her stroke I became her power of attorney for medical decisions. She told me as much as she could at the time in order to prepare me for being in charge of her health. 5 years passed by and even though my mom had four sons the load was put on me to make sure she was okay. I cannot begin to unpack all the emotions and overwhelming stress that went along with looking after her everyday for 5 years. In the beginning it was alright because she could still talk, walk, and do much for herself. After a second stroke, and being in a coma for two months everything continued down hill for her. To make a long story short I felt like and still feel stuck because none of my family seem to understand what happened to me while taking care of her. My brothers got married, one of them has a child on the way, two of them left the U.S., my dad started dating, and all in all the men in my family are in their own world. That isn't to say I haven't made changes because I left my home to pursue school. I stopped everything to be there for her and she still died after all she suffered, I just wish she would have let me stop her misery sooner. I know it sounds crazy that I wanted her die, but living that way in the last years of her life was not living at all. I am the one stuck with the memories and burden of having bad thoughts when all she wanted was to see us, and be with us for as long as she could. Anyway, the reason I wrote this post is to see if there was anyone with suggestions or comments on how to live passed death while everything around you spins even when you aren't moving.