An unbearable 3 months and the tears won't stop

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by LynHH, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. LynHH

    LynHH Member

    My husband of 36 years passed away March 5th. He was sick for 15 years and I was his sole caregiver until the end when hospice came in. He was first diagnosed with early onset from to temporal dementia. His behavior changed radically. Than 8 years ago he was diagnosed with bladder cancer which slowly moved throughout his body, attacking and settling wherever it chose. There were times I was so angry at the disease that stole my husband's thoughts and actions I would wish for it to hurry and be done with. But now it is and all I do it seems is cry. We had lived at my daughter's house the last 5 years. My husband begged me to buy my own place after he was gone. I did it so my daughter was free to leave her husband. the last 3 months I lost my husband, lost my 50 year old God daughter to ovarian cancer, moved in a trailer needing much TLC in a nice adult park and my daughter and her teenage daughter have moved to a new house. I stay busy fixing my home and work 5 days a week at my daughter's boutique but I'm so empty, sleepwalking through it all, starting my morning with tears, ending my nights with tears. I don't know how to move forward. I hate leaving my house, I hate being home alone at my house. I feel I'm growing more introverted each day. I live in this empty void and do not know how to stop. Thank you for listening.
  2. JohnFS

    JohnFS Well-Known Member

    I’m deeply sorry for your losses. We are all here to listen, to cry with and to know you are not alone in your time of sorrow. It hurts! it sucks! It’s not fair! Yet the world still goes on around us oblivious to our heartbreak. There are no magical words that will instantly heal our hearts or our minds, but there are good people here that will hold your hand when needed and understand when your in the darkness because we are there too. They have helped me and if you allow it we can help you. It’s not easy and will never be but this place does help to get it out into words.
  3. CAS

    CAS New Member

    I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly 22 months ago. I know for me the first year was like a fog, felt like I was in shock. Crying everyday, not wanting to get out. I moved in with my daughter the first year. Now I bought a condo and am on my own for the first time. It's slowly getting a little easier. Just take one day at a time, be around family and friends if possible. I find that helps me to cope. This site has helped me alot.
  4. LynHH

    LynHH Member

    Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss also.
  5. LynHH

    LynHH Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss also. This, too, is my first time living alone. I'm thankful every day for my children and granddaughter. She spends every Tuesday night with me and on Wednesday, my day off, she forces me to go to the pool in my park or to a restaurant I've never been to. If she did not I would just sit home. She is my blessing. I'm glad you have family close also.
  6. maisydodd

    maisydodd New Member

    The best way to celebrate any occasion or thing is just dance as if no one is watching. This idea is for the party animal.
  7. maisydodd

    maisydodd New Member

    More generally, cousin is a type of familial relationship in which people with a known common ancestor are both two or more generations away from their most recent common ancestor. This distinguishes a cousin from an ancestor, descendant, sibling, aunt, uncle, niece, or nephew.

    Happy Birthday Cousin
  8. Ron1njdds

    Ron1njdds New Member

    I lost my wife of 38 years to ovarian cancer last month do you want to rent me a room and we can sit and cry all night?
  9. LynHH

    LynHH Member

    How long ago did you lose your wife? I'm sorry for your loss.

  10. Khakooler

    Khakooler New Member

    I understand I loss my husband April 19, 2019 I don’t know how to go on without him we were married my whole life
  11. HeatherB

    HeatherB New Member

    My husband who was also my best friend for 38 yrs on May 31st he passed with hospice from diabetic complications, I work full time and have great support with my work family along with my family and friends. However I still feel so empty and alone it’s gut wrenching.