*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

6 Months Ago life changed

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Danny2444, May 19, 2020.

  1. Danny2444

    Danny2444 New Member

    Hello. Just joined site as I finally realize I cannot do this healing alone. Been so sad but am not giving up. Will never give up. DANNY
     
    Sweetcole likes this.
  2. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

     
  3. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

    Don’tGive up Danny.
    You may not know it now, But you have
    People, right here, that care about you, understand
    Your pain and want to help. This site has been my life jacket. My wife of 25 years died from brain cancer last October. I didn’t think I could live without her., and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.
    I found this site and with the help of these caring, wonderful people (now friends) I’m still around 6 months later.
    Keep reaching out, It will help.

    Bill
     
  4. Danny2444

    Danny2444 New Member

    Ty so much for the reply. Sorry about your loss No i have never gave up on anything in life. Not an option for me. Yes I hope this site helps
     
  5. Billfromwa

    Billfromwa Well-Known Member

    Hi Danny
    I’m sorry that you are going through this horrible challenge. I didn’t think you would give up. I was just trying to, clumsily, offer my prayers and condolences. We, on this forum know exactly what you are going through. The pain is unbearable and you think it will never end. Tears unexpectedly spring from nowhere, and you want to scream out of anger and frustration. Please keep reaching out to us and the pain will ease. I don’t know if it will ever go away. It hasn’t happened to me yet, but I’m starting to get better after 7 months. I don’t think I will ever fully recover. I don’t think I want to. She’s too deep into my soul.
    God Bless You in your struggle.

    Bill
    ,
     
  6. Peachi

    Peachi New Member

    Hi Danny, Your heading -“ 6 months ago today” Really caught my attention. 1 year ago yesterday my normal life ended. My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Nothing has been the same since then. He fought for 7 months but he had to leave me. I had him in my arms when he left. We were together for 33 years and he was everything to me. I’m now completely alone physically but even when I’m with friends I’m alone. I really can’t imagine spending the rest of my life like this. I would never hurt myself but I just don’t want to “be” anymore. My crying had slowed down for a while but it’s back big time. I’ve heard that the First year of Firsts is the hardest. Right now I really hate life.
    Judy
     
  7. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    Glad you said you're not giving up. Me neither but it sure gets hard sometimes. Everyday is a challenge and I pray 4 strength . Welcome to the site cause we all can definitely be there for each other. REach out if you need to talk
     
  8. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my fiance a little while ago. I feel like a part of me is gone so I get the loneliness you feel. I feel lonely and empty at times. We have small kids and they are why I keep moving. At times though I feel I'm mourning for them and me cause they ask for him all the time. I've been emotional alot this week. I dont no if it's because my sons bday jus passed and mines around the corner its rough. I hope things get better for you.
     
  9. Peachi

    Peachi New Member

    Michael has been gone 5 months today. I feel horrible- like I’ve entered a second stage of extreme grief. Maybe it’s really hit me that this is now my life. Sometimes I feel like I want to scream just for some relief. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m getting worse.
     
  10. Sweetcole

    Sweetcole Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are feeling like that. It is definitely rough losing the person you pla to spend the rest of your life with. Hold to your memories and let them carry you through. Some one of my days are rougher than others. My kids are what keep me going and I pray 4 strength to get through each challenging day. I pray you have strength too for brighter days.
     
  11. ainie

    ainie Well-Known Member

    I had another widow give me a different perspective on that second wave when we feel the grief is getting worse instead of better. She said "First I cried for him. Then later I cried for myself". This rang a bell for me...around four months was so so hard and I think it is because for me that is when disbelief wore off and I realized that my life was truly changed forever.

    We all deal in our own way and whatever works for each of us as individuals is what is right. I share this because her words helped me figure it out. This site is so good that way ... we learn from others in the same position. Some people's words ring true for us and we learn from others because we are able to see more clearly even when we react "that's not for me". Keeping reading and talking.
     
  12. 427RCode

    427RCode Member

    I am on week 7 + a day, but whose counting, this is a journey and the Give Up is just not an option, as I sit here in my chair, his empty and think this is my new Friday night, it makes me so super sad, but I know he wouldn’t want me to ever give in to grief, I look at the pool and just want it to swallow me, but I know its not an option, We all are different, I have done so much in the last 7 weeks its just crazy auto pilot, I know my mind is going 100 and my words here are about 60%, just take care and know we are all here for each other, and that I am truly grateful for a place to go,and download some thoughts, as there is nobody here to talk to