12 days ago my 51 year old husband collapsed at home from sudden heart failure. He was groaning but couldn’t respond to me. I was actually trying to look for obstructions in his airway when he died with his face in my hands. Seeing his eyes go blank and his face turn blue was horrific. I started CPR but I knew he was gone. The paramedics defibrillated him 5 times but to no avail. He was transported to the hospital with CPR in progress and pronounced dead in the ER. Our 13 year old daughter was home when this happened and she saw everything. I’m just stunned from the horror of it all. Can’t cry. Just getting through the days. Also discovered that my husband had failed to buy a life insurance policy that I thought he had, so there is only a minimal amount of life insurance. This is just awful on so many levels. I’m afraid he died in agony. I fear for my daughter’s mental health. I’m worried about money. And I still can’t cry.