until this morning. Usually when I get my car looked at and it takes a while, I call my mum to keep me company on the phone so I'm not so bored. But today, I couldn't call her because she isn't here. She stopped being here on September 7th. Suddenly I feel everything and I'm not so sure I like it. And I also feel nothing, and I don't think I like that either.
I lost my dad a few years ago after an extended illness. Everyone looked to me to make decisions in his final days since I had a little better understanding of medical terminology. I, too, thought I was doing ok until the random morning I went into a fast food place for a quick breakfast and saw a man who was almost the spitting image of my dad. I think it was not only the beard and hair, but the fact that he was dressed exactly as my dad dressed. I suddenly found myself in tears, and wanted so badly to go to this perfect stranger and wrap my arms around him. I think even after time goes by there will be things that will trigger some really strong memories of a missing loved one. I guess the only thing we can do is ride the wave and be strong and carry on. Do you have a good friend or close sibling, a child perhaps, that you could call during those times you called your mom? Maybe you need to continue the practice of making a phone call, just call another person you care about. It's ok to tell them why you need to chit-chat a little bit.
Your loss is new so understand that it is painful and you will cry..a lot! Feel the pain and don't push the feelings down. I lost my dad almost a year ago and I cry everyday. I miss him so so much.