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The Love of my Life Suddenly Left Me

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Missingbeau, Sep 8, 2019.

  1. Missingbeau

    Missingbeau New Member

    I was in a relationship w a Wonderful Man for the last 8 years. A One of a Kind we never argued and never had a bad day! I am 45 and he was 48. We lived about 2 hours apart and we planned to move in together next spring when I finished school. He hid the fact that he was battling cancer from me and his family. He passed suddenly from a reaction to a Chemo treatment in August 12, 2019. I am devastated and feel like I’ll never be able to move on. He treated better than ANY Man I ever met in my life and I wanted to be w him forever. His family is very receptive of me and our relationship and having them supporting me helps a lot. Now I want to move out of state next spring to be near my family. Does it get better? I still can’t eat or sleep or anything. Everything reminds me of him. Gone too soon this is so Unfair.
     
  2. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 36 yrs to a heart attack on 8-1. I dont know if if gets better. This just really stinks. This wasnt suppose to be this way, we had so many plans. Everything reminds me of him also. Again IDK, I have no answers. But know you are not alone.
     
  3. samtom

    samtom New Member

    I lost my husband of 50 years August 26 suddenly to a massive heart attack we would be married 51 years Sept 14.......i still find it surreal ..I listen for him all the time i look at his favorite chair and the ache and pain is unbearable because he is not there....I can't sleep in our bed ..his things are exactly where he left them..I can't wash his hamper of dirty clothes I don't want to...the days are so hard especially the mornings as we had a set routine and it is so painful....I never in a million years expected he would leave first he was so confident he would live to be very very old......he was 74 when he left....the house feels so empty and quiet...I have lost all interest in activities I use to do ....
     
  4. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

     
  5. PeggySue

    PeggySue Member

    SamTom, im so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband of 36 years on 8-1 to a heart attack. I relate to what you are saying. Hang in there, trying to just make it a few minutes at a time is all I got right now.
     
    samtom likes this.
  6. Kamille

    Kamille New Member


    I just lost the love of my life not even a week yet. Still in shock. Feel completely helpless and lost.
     
    Missingbeau likes this.
  7. samtom

    samtom New Member

    Kamille, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my wonderful, caring, love of my life for 50 years on Aug 26, 2019 it will be one month tomorrow and it still feels like yesterday. I too don't know when the pain and agony of this grieving gets any easier or better...right now it doesn't feel like ever.....I think about him constantly , I relive the night we went to the hospital he also died of a heart attack he was 74 and a young active 74. I have blamed myself from day one as I feel I missed something, so many questions. I have found my grief lightens when I turned to my faith, prior to this I had strayed from my believes but now am searching out comfort from Gods word, I also am finding a lot of support from grief forums and groups on line, I went to a grief support group in my community and not sure if it is gonna to help but will be going back again to see and most important I lean heavy on my family I am blessed that I have so many close by . You should move closer to your family it will be comfort just being close....Eating and sleeping will come .. some days better than others. Grieve was explained to me as waves that you will have maybe forever they wash over you with intense grieve but they don't last ..but painful when they do come and can be triggered by anything that reminds you of him . Use the grieve sites for support it really helps to know that your not alone , many many others are going thru what we are .
     
  8. samtom

    samtom New Member

    Kamille,
    Shock is a sudden, violent disturbance to the body. The same term is used to describe the effect of an electric current passing through the body. You have likely encountered this paralyzing reaction in grief.
    When you are in shock and you feel powerless to cope and unable to think straight, understand that you don’t have to at that moment. Yet because of this, it is wise not to make any major changes in your life or decide on any important issues until your shock has subsided.
    God will gently lead to safety those who consciously turn to Him and are dependent on His guidance.
    “The LORD will give strength to His people; the LORD will bless His people with peace” (Psalm 29:11 NASB).
    https://www.griefshare.org/
    this info is from one of the daily emails I get I have included the web site if your interested.
     
  9. Shaz

    Shaz New Member

    I am so sorry for all your losses and all the pain that grief brings.
    I sadly lost my youngest Brother, Martin ,suddenly on 6th August. He was 58. I am the only one left now as my Brother Paul died 1985 age 33 of Cancer. Kenny 1995 age 50. Lost Mum 2011. Best friend , Marian, 1991 age 35 of Cancer. Last year our first Grandchild, Ollie, passed away 8 days old. As I sit writing this I just cannot believe all these losses.
    Loosing Martin, recently has hit me so hard, think it was the shock of sudden death from heart attack. I live in USA from England. I have never felt so alone in all my life. Not being in England to help sort out things as been so hard. His funeral was September 11th. He died whilst working away from home so we had the added stress of transporting his body and getting a post Mortem done. Traveling back to England was so heartbreaking knowing that he was my last family member. Feel all my family connections have now gone. Getting back on that plane to USA was so hard.
    This grief seems to be so over whelming he was my baby brother and I cannot believe he is gone. I know from past grief it gets easier, if that’s the correct word. But this is more intense than anything I have ever felt in my life. I’m completely broken.
     
  10. Missingbeau

    Missingbeau New Member

    I’m Terribly sorry for each and every loss we all are experiencing May God Be w Us in this time of pain and sorrow