My sister died 8 days ago

My sister was found dead of an aneurysm 8 days ago. I sat with her body for almost 5 hours before they arrived to take her. She was my only family. I am now alone. My husband never liked her & is glad she is gone. I am not allowed to grieve. If he sees me crying he thinks it is because I loved her more than him. I had a heart attack right after her death. I am talking to a counselor. She was the only person I had in this world. I feel completely lost. I can't sleep, eat or hold anything down when I do eat. I tried to revive her even though they said she died in the middle of the night. I have never seen someone dead other than at a funeral home. She was only 45. I am in shock. I cant stop thinking how she felt when I touched her arm. I feel guilty because she wanted me to color her hair on Sunday & I told her I couldn't because I just had a cast put in my foot & was in too much pain. I never said no to her but I did on Sunday morning & she died Sunday night. I can't stop crying. I just miss her so much & I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying. I don't understand this.

 

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My sister passed in her sleep 4 months ago, and i still feel like crying all the time. I have family but feel so alone. She was my best friend, my life. . .?

 

Sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I lost my mother suddenly in May. She was cold by the time I found her. Glad to hear you are going to a therapist. Guilt is a common emotion. I had it with my mother too.

 

I feel the same way. I have called her phone just to hear her voice. She was also my office manager...just the two of us all day in the office. I went back to work last week. It was hard. I am thinking of doing some kind of memorial "in memory of" donation/ discount on her behalf to help Veterans. She was devoted to our Veterans as am I so I thought this would pit something forward in her name. I still struggle to sleep. I'm scared of sleeping because of the nightmares. Right now just one day at a time. Her mother had her cremated & no obituary. This has been very hard for me to deal with. I want to post an obituary but my state says I have to wait a year because parents hold all the rights but after a year I can pist something. Our dad is deceased. So her mother doing this & coming in taking my sister's things has been too much to endure. Her mother wants my sister's "things"... I just want my sister back. One day at a time.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I think that sitting with my Sister while waiting on them to pick her body up was one of the most traumatizing things I have ever gone thru. The way she felt, smelled, looked...I wish I would have known that sitting with her would have been so traumatizing. She looked the same with her pale skin & red hair...that is why I touched her & tried to revive her. Even after doing that I would just touch her arm & feel the ice cold & stiffness. I don't quite understand why my mind would not register or accept that she was dead. However...I know me & I wouldn't have believed it if I had only stayed in the doorway. Something in me had to make sure she wasn't unconscious. I don't know but I know without a doubt she died. Ladt week I finally returned to work after a month off & when I went to the bank I saw a man with a tattoo on his arm. I thought I was seeing things. I asked him what his tattoo said & he said "Stephanie...my mother's name was Stephanie & she died about a month ago so I did this in memory of her" I then told him my sister Stephanie died about a month ago. Long story short...we both cried & felt some peace like we had ran into each other because our loved ones wanted us to know they were ok & watching over us.

 

Am sorry for your loss i understand what you are going through, i too lost my wife through a cerebral edema may you find peace.