Yesterday I forgot he was dead

For the first time in 7 months I forgot my husband was dead. I was sitting in the middle of the day on my couch watching TV and looked at the clock. “It’s lunchtime, wonder what he’s doing? Maybe I’ll text him, oh wait, oh my god!!” The first time. Despite being in an apartment he’s never been in, sitting on a couch that he never sat on, I forgot that he was gone. I didn’t freak out. Told myself it wasn’t a big deal. Don’t dwell on it. But if you try NOT to think about something, you THINK about it MORE. I’ve been in an awful mood since. I just want him back.
Father’s day is coming and I think it’s worse for me than my 8 year old son. But he won’t watch any videos of my husband. I told him it’s ok. I guess that’s just how people are different. The videos comfort me, but he doesn’t want them. At least we can talk about it. I miss him so much.

 

That is so sad when we forget. Just like we are loosing him all over.
I have done this many times over the three years since my husband has been gone. Not sure what to make of it. I think its due to the fact they were such a huge part of our lives.

In April we had a new baby in the family. I remember sitting in the hospital thinking I could not wait to get home to tell him it was a boy. Like you I just go with the feeling now.
I honestly don't know if its due to the fact we were so close, or the fact he was telling me that he was there.

Rough time of year....around Fathers Day. Your son will eventually look at those precious videos.
I am so glad you have those.

My daughter was here for seven weeks recently. She lives out of the country. She comes home about three times a year to visit. I go there about twice a year.
This time I picked up on the fact she would not go down stairs where her Dad's man cave was.
Not sure how I missed it before. Felt bad for her.

Hope you feel better soon....I have been in a dark mood lately too. Its probably due to Fathers Day.

 

Thanks, Linda. This was very helpful for me to read. I needed it. Thankful to have you share it.