I’ve known him for 8 years through online chat and in between we had so many misunderstandings and and we did not talk to each other for a year or two, but every year he would wish me for my birthday. In 2016 he came to visit me, we both are from two different countries. That didnt end well and after that we didnt talk. Then this year January, he inboxed me wished me hally new year. I did not reply, few months later i called him staright. And ever since then we were talking through video call. At one point we both decided to meet up, so I went to his country, we spent the best 7 days together, I really wish I could just pause my live there and just keep reliving that moments! Once im back to my country, things between us was so different, we were even planning for our marriage and he planned to come to my country and work here and stuff! Unfortunately the God had planned the total opposite for us. Eleven days later after i was back to my country he met with an accident and left me here alone! As this is my first time going through loss of a loved one, i just dont know how to deal with it. Keep feeling like ending my life, as whenever I keep thingking of the fact that I wont be able to hear or see his beautiful face of his anymore!!!!!!! What a way to end, everything was falling into olace so perfect and now its all shattered, IM SHATTERED INTO PIECES. I dont even know how im even functioning now. IM GIVING UP !!
We all feel like that at first. Loss is horrible because the deceased person took a huge chunk of us with them, as well as our future. It takes a lot of grief work to get out the other side, which means you will go through lots of pain. You will never be the same person you were before the death.
H How do i come out of it? Im still finding hard to accept tha fact that he’s gone. Till this very day i still text him, and its already been 1 week but no reply at all from him. He has never done this to me, he’l always reply me.
If it has been a week, you still have a long way to go. Since this is your first grief experience, you probably don"t know what to expect. Most people consider the first six months to be early grief with the year 1 marker as a significant point. Get a hold of sone books or websites and read.
Is it normal to think that i dotn want to live anymore? Im really going insane, took some pills the other day, but unfortunately im still alive!! Dont mind sharing the book / websites if you know?
We all do when our loved one dies. Mine died in front of me unexpectedly, suddenly, without warning after 18 years of living together. That is why your experience is not unusual. A good book, "It's ok that you're not ok" by Megan Devine
Yes, it is normal to not want to live. When you act upon it, you need to call your country's suicide assistance number to get someone to talk to you. What country do you live in?
