Hi- I am new here, but so many of your posts make me realize I haven't been alone this entire time. I lost my Aunt last march and I worked on a cruise ship, I was called and told that I needed to come home that my Aunt was about to pass away and I needed to say goodbye... it was all so tragic, no one told me she was sick because I was away and I think I still feel the pain from that.... fastforward to this year, July. I was on vacation when my mom called me and said my grandmom isn't doing well, to get home that she didn't have much time left (my grandmom was perfectly fine days before I left). I flew home, in such a hurry and a few days later she passed away. Two days after my grandmom died, I was sleeping on my couch when my mom came running in to our house and told me to get into the car that my grandfather (he is on my other side of the family) was most likely going to die tonight. It didn't feel real? He had a lung disease, but he was perfectly fine the day before. That night I said goodbye, praying it was not real life.. but it was. I am not much of a 'holy person' I go to church and things, but my heart still aches. How do I know that they are okay? Like why did they have to leave so suddenly? Where have they gone! They were here one day and the next day they were gone! How do I go on without them? It is just, my grandmom was my literal best friend, we'd laugh, go out to lunch, brunch, take walks, shop the aisles of stores, get our hair done together, she was my whole world and she is gone, just like that... and I am just struggling because I can't see her or my grandpop... it's like WHERE HAVE THEY GONE! I know they are up there somewhere, in the clouds, looking down proud, but I am the type of person who needs to see it to believe it and this is just so extremely hard for me. Not sure if I am the only one like this?