When will I be able to breathe again?

I lost my oldest son in 2013 when he was 20. The only reason I kept getting up each day was so that my other 2 children didn’t lose their shine in death’s darkness. I as if my joy was back when my first grandson was born in 2017. He became my world. My daughter and him lived with us so he was with me always. Then in October 2018, his mother’s boyfriend shook him to death. My world is shattered. I am having trouble understanding all of this. I not only have to grieve, but I have a daughter that I need to take care of because she now knows the pain I never wanted her to have. We also have a looming trial. I try to keep it together for my daughter. I see a therapist but I need people who can relate. People who I can be blunt with. People who have walked in these shoes.

 

Belinda, I am sorry for your loss. I also know the joy of grandchildren and great grandchildren as I have both. I know they help lift the grief when you are with them. I am far away from mine now and I think they could help me feel better but I made the choice to move away. I really think being near my only living sibling will be helpful in the future. I just need to get past all the grief I feel right now. And I know what you mean when you said "When will I be able to breath again". I too have asked that question only I asked it too the universe and never got an answer. But it took me a long time then one day I was breathing again. I thought I was going to die from not being able to get a full breath!

 

I am so sorry for your loss! I can honestly say I know what it feels like. Your situation and mine are almost alike, except I had grandchildren already when my eldest son died. He left 5 children behind, the youngest being just under two years old, the oldest was six at the time. I don't care what people say, it never gets easier, you only learn to shove it aside and pretend you're okay.

 

I recently lost my fiance of 4 years and am pregnant with our daughter ( due in two months) . The whole thing is still a shock to me , I have a hard time processing it... I miss him every second of the day . I'd do anything for him back.