When pain is more than just pain

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by Jeffsjohnson, Jul 15, 2020.

  1. Jeffsjohnson

    Jeffsjohnson Member

    We all know pain, but few of us know the pain of the devastating loss of a loved one. The word “pain” doesn’t even come close. You morn the loss of your love, your friend, touch, laughter, hope and future plans. All that comes to a stop, and it forces you to address a new reality. One that is singular.

    Yes, you’ll cope and each day can be better. What choice do you have but to move forward? But those days will be different than what you hoped, and possibly emptier than what you expected.

    If you think about it from the perspective of your loved one – the one that passed on – the dynamic is completely different. Sure, they would want you to miss them, but would they want you to be crippled by grief, doubt, and depression? Hell no. They’d want you to be happy, content, accepting, fulfilled and healthy. So, I have to think from my dear wife’s perspective. She’d say “Get off your ass, eat right, exercise, drink less, get involved, and never forget me.” I’m working on that. It’s isn’t easy but it is a good start.
    Talos25, Deann2011 and Mary0128 like this.
  2. Barry

    Barry Well-Known Member

    I agree! Thanks for saying that.
  3. Lucile280

    Lucile280 Member

    I agree as well ~ it’s easier said than done.
  4. Michael beck

    Michael beck Well-Known Member

    Totally agree.. Thank you.. Thats just what my wife windy always said to me..
    Stop dwelling on things you can't change.. And work on what you can..
    Ahe uaed to get so mad at me ..
    Its not easy .. And won't be for a
    Sometime.. I love windy so much ..
    She gave me so much..
    Peace to you all..
  5. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    That's what keeps me going. I think: What would Kelley want me to do. I used to love doing things for her if it made her happy. I just look around the house and yard and I hear her say what needs to be done.
  6. Talos25

    Talos25 Member

    She was a lovely person and she'll ALWAYS be with me.
  7. Michael beck

    Michael beck Well-Known Member

    Oh my gosh..
    It's like we are connected thru our loved ones..
    I nean my windy would have said thise very words to me.
    Ahe hated that I am a dweller.. I keep my mind on things that i have no controll over and she would have said thise very words to me ..
    God bless you all..
  8. Lucile280

    Lucile280 Member

    I’m working on it as well. It is hard to push through the days when you are just missing your special person so much. I have to move forward for him, because he would not want me to be in such pain. He would want to see me smile and to feel the excitement of living my best life in my step. I am trying, every day I try to remember how much he loved life.