When it rains, it pours

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by melmur, Jun 10, 2018.

  1. melmur

    melmur Member

    My grandmother passed March 17,2018. It has taken a huge toll on me. The feeling of being lost, hopeless and heartbroken seems to have consumed me. Almost exactly a month later, I took the dreaded pregnancy test and watch it turn into a positive sign, indicating that I was indeed pregnant.

    I'm newly 25, trying to figure out life, trying to go to school and trying to make sense of my relationship with my boyfriend. Why did this have to happen now? I wasn't ready for a kid; mentally, physically or financially. It wasn't fair bringing a child into that. So my boyfriend and I came to the mutual decision that I would get an abortion. I did.

    I don't regret it, but it makes me wonder. It's interesting that when it rains, it really does pour. I have been struggling with the death of my grandma and this happened. I can't help to wonder if that was meant to be? Should I have kept it?

    As cheesy as it sounds, I recently rescued a dog that has changed my life. She has gave me purpose in life. She was there for me through my grandmother's decline, taking her to visit her- my grandma loved her in the short time she knew her. I thought that my dog happened to come into my life at the most perfect moment to help me with my grandma's death. But the pregnancy really threw me a curveball.

    I just wonder.
  2. Debs

    Debs Member

    You did what you thought was best for you at this point of time. Don't beat yourself up. I've been fostering a dog for 3 weeks and I'm sure my love sent her to me.... but I have to return her tomorrow and I'm very sad but glad she will be reunited with her owner. She has helped me a lot. Things happen for a reason. You are grieving your grandmother and have opened your heart to a dog. That's all you have to give right now. And that's OK.
  3. melmur

    melmur Member

    Thank you for your words. It’s absolutely amazing the effect dogs can have on someone (and vice vera). Even though she was in your life for a short three weeks, you can be assured that you have helped her just as much she has helped you. Thank you for saying that it’s okay. Hearing it from a someone I don’t know, strangely has a bigger impact.
    griefic and Debs like this.
  4. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. I'm sure the decision to have an abortion was not an easy one. As the other commenter noted, you did what you thought was best at the time. While I don't currently have any pets, I have in the past and know how they can be a lifesaver.
  5. Debs

    Debs Member

    I understand... when you know you're not being judged you can sometimes accept things more easily. I guess I'm presuming we aren't judging each other here... at least I'm not!
    griefic and melmur like this.
  6. melmur

    melmur Member

    It wasn't an easy choice. My mind was already in disarray after my grandmother's death. Finding out that I was pregnant barely a week later threw me a huge curveball. People underestimate the love from a pet. They truly are pure, forgiving and understanding which is exactly what I needed during these difficult times. Thank you for understanding and reassuring me, Sciguy.
    griefic and Debs like this.
  7. melmur

    melmur Member

    Unfortunately, it's so easy to judge the people you know. That's why I turned to these online forums, and it truly has helped being able to expose my most intimate and well-kept secret and hearing from others that - it's okay!
    griefic and Debs like this.