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When is it not wrong to reach out for love?

Discussion in 'Dating Again After the Loss of a Spouse/Partner' started by Leaf, Dec 7, 2020.

  1. FlagRich

    FlagRich New Member

    Agreed - life is better when you share it. I loved my wife dearly, but based on her health we knew I would probably survive her - and I did. She was very clear that she wanted me to find another when she was gone. There are no kids and my relatives just want me to be happy, but I was mired in grief for 2 years and only now emerging with some help. So I am open to the prospect, but have no idea how to move toward it. I am a non-smoking light drinker so the bar scene does not appeal, too "old school" to trust dating sites, and not inclined to join a church. I do know that if I'm not comfortable in my own skin, I can't make anybody else happy; so I'm working on that and hoping for a bit of serendipity. It happened once before - it could happen again. I'm trying to be ready.
     
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  3. You don't have to just go out and date. Start small. Try something new. A new restaurant or something you like. You can be the hottest person around and still have problems finding the right one. I know bc I lost a bunch of wieght once got really fit and then just met more jerks. The right person will love you in progress or how you are. My husband was also sick. He was sick since we had our 4th child. We had 5 all together. I worked 12 and 1/2 hrs for 3 days and 6 hrs the 4th day. That gave me 3 and 1/2 days off. He also wanted me to find someone. He had been pushing me away for yrs. He wanted me to be happy. It took almost a year to get over the panic attacks. I tried online dating. It most scams and fake people catfishing. That's why I said try new things meet new people. Only get fit for yourself. Doing for any other reason will not work. You say you need to love yourself. It's not always bc of how you look. It's how you think. You are your own worse enemy. When you think of something you don't think is what a woman deems hot bc of all the pressure from society. Just know that someone somewhere is happy you are here. I am always around to talk.
     
  4. Pikaia

    Pikaia Member

    Leaf, I just wanted you to know that I lost my wife of 40 years 4 1/2 months ago, and I understand completely how you feel. No one can replace my wife, nor would I want anyone to. However, I am open to a new relationship. I know that my wife has moved to a new plane of existence; she has moved on, and wants me to do the same. I am blessed to have known her. Take care.