It’s been a while since I’ve looked at the site. I see the heartbreak, actually I feel the heartbreak and the pain and you wonder will it ever subside going away completely I have my doubts. I feel for all of you I know none of us ever thought we’d be here talking about the loss of the love of our life. It is now almost 2 years and five months since I lost my Gina, and right now I am sitting in my living room getting ready to go see my daughter in Colorado. It is bittersweet for my wife loved and went there many times while I was working so she could seeOur grandkids. This is what we worked for for saved for to do in our retiring years which we never got to do. I always wonder how others are doing after the two year mark I find that it goes by pretty quick and in truth what everybody said after the first year you are just cried out. Now it’s just like living but just going through the motions this crap is so hard. traveling without her, man she did everything all I had to do was make sure that I have my wallet that’s just how she was took care of always getting ready. I miss her every day I guess that never ends and have no clue what the future holds. I say this to everyone this is the price we pay for love be strong and very courageous.
So glad you came on the site and are giving us an update. Your words, this is the price we pay for the wonderful love we experienced is so true. I say that all the time. I’m at 3 1/2 yrs. I miss Ron every day and believe I always will. I go through each day but not loving each day. The memories can bring smiles but also tears. Not like it used to be, which was constant crying. I live for my dachshund which was a gift from Ron and for my kids. I see my daughter often she lives 15-20 minutes away. My son is in Florida an we visit him as much as we can. And he comes to visit when he can. Just like you’re saying, traveling to visit our children without our spouse just feels wrong. My first Trip to visit my son was very difficult. Staying in their spare bedroom without Ron was miserable. I cried all night it’s gotten some easier when I visit him now though. Just like you’re mentioning, we saved to have a wonderful retirement of traveling. That never happened. Life got harder and although I feel stronger in some ways. I miss the happy loving my life person I was and miss my soulmate every day. But I honor Ron every day and keep going because that’s what Ron would want. Your Gina would want that too. Have a safe trip. Gina wants you to enjoy your daughter and grandchildren. She’s with you, she’s in your heart to stay. Wishing you peace and strength, Robin
Patti, as I told Karen, who asked TGW about the afterlife, I'm a believer. I have a friend in his 60s, who had a near death experience in his 20s. He was in a car crash,ending up in the ER. He could feel his spirit rise above the heads of the surgeons, & could read their minds. Later, the doctors said he was accurate. He ascended on a tunnel toward a light. where he could feel the presence of spirits of people he knew. Then , a voice asked if he were "ready" & he snapped out of it. He heard the message that LOVE is the meaning of life. He is the calmest person I know. Lou
Tom, so glad you joined us again. I see that our friends, Patti and Robin, already welcomed you back. Another friend, Deb, says that our lives will forever be bittersweet, bc our soulmates are no longer with us physically. Unlike you and some of the widows, Linda & I had no children. We met in our mid 40s, & were married 25 yrs. I've had to seek out people, with whom to talk, and even, to share a laugh. I plan on staying on GIC indefinitely. I've made close friends here, since I joined in July. 2021. Lou
Patti, I'm so glad that my story about my friend's glimpse of the afterlife, brought back a memory of your incredible childbirth experience. How terrifying, and miraculous, that was for you. You are one of the bravest, most spiritual GW on GIC, and it's a pleasure to know you. Lou
Tgotyall, this is Karen It's been 19 months now since Jack died. He was 81 and had been retired for quite sometime so at least we were able to enjoy some retirement years. He became ill about 8 months before he was diagnosed then within the year he was gone. We were married 39 years. I can't say after the first year is gets easier just a different kind of pain and grief. I do believe in the afterlife which seems to be proven by people who have had near death experiences. So, it gives me peace that we ascend in a tunnel of light and then to move to into our after life. Keep the faith, K
It was nice of you to check in and give an update. I don't think that the pain will go completely away. I just feel that we get stronger to deal with the hand life has dealt us. Its been 2 years since I lost my Gant too. It still feel.like a bad dream sometimes. Im glad you're going to visit your daughter. I hope you have as nice of a trip as you can. I definitely understand it being bittersweet. Everytime I do something with our kids I think about how I wouldn't be doing it by myself if Gant was here. It feels weird making plans without him. Going through the motions explains my day to day. I pray that you continue to get strong with each passing day.
Hello tgotyall, so sorry for your loss. You describe your beloved wife so lovingly, it really touched my heart. I joined this site recently and have found such a great family here where I can let go of all my feelings and thoughts, saying anything I want, knowing everyone will understand because we are all unfortunately going through the same journey. My C was suddenly and unexpectedly torn away from me and my two grown-up children, to a cardiac arrest, right in front of us. That 'image' is constantly in my mind, will live with me and torment me forever. It's been 19 months now but for me it was yesterday, still living in shock and disbelief. Take care, wishing you peace and comfort. Rose.
Patti, your vivid description of this experience is so moving, so sorry for the pain you must have gone through, like you say, a miraculous healing. Take care Rose.
Hi Sweetcole and RLC, it's early morning here. Having seen you both on line and wondering it's probably late night where you live, I wanted to wish you both a good night's sleep. Rose
Rose, it's so comforting to see you on here just now. I woke up from sad dream, at 4am my time. Linda was talking with me. I touched her arm, with tears in my eyes. She turned toward me, and asked, "What's wrong?". I said, " I miss you".When I awoke, I wished I asked her how she was doimg. Thank you for listening, Rose. Now, I'm going back to sleep. Lou
Awww! Your dream was very touching. I hope you were able to get back to sleep. Don't beat yourself up for.not asking her how's she's doing. She'll appear again. It was probably just meant for her to check on you this time. Sending a virtual hug.
Thank you, Nicole. Your words moved me. I did go back to sleep, but had other dreams in which I was hugging and comforting other women. Maybe that shows I still have love to give. But, the thought of having a relationship with another woman, is exhausting, even though Linda wanted that for me when she became ill. It chokes me up to say that this morning. I have been more emotional lately, bc I've glad to undergo physical therapy ( for balance issues) like Linda did at the end of her life. Lou
You giving comfort even in your dreams. Thats sweet! I can see another relationship being exhausting. You've had the love of your life. A new person you'd have to get know and start over. If its meant to be it'll happen. Im praying you get stronger with each passing day and that your physical therapy also continues to go well.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Nicole. Despite my desire to be with people, I walked to a harbor I never go. I passed by a boat called "Serenity Now", which reminded me of the TV show, Seinfeld, which Linda & I laughed at together. In one episode, Jerry 's angry father runs through his house, screaming "SERENITY NOW!!!" ,Lou .
Thank you Rose. Yes it was 1:25 am or around there. Thank you! So nice of you! I did eventually get to sleep. As you know sleep comes hard. Robin
