Trying to deal with grief

Hi my name is Marion I’ve lost 5 of my siblings over 22 years my first sister died 22 years ago at the age of 35 from cancer leaving 5 kids behind 3 years later my brother 47 died of a heart attack 16 years later my sister 54 died of lung cancer 3 years after my brother 51 died from a freak fall and 4 months later in January 20/20 my 49 year old brother died of a heart attack on the same day my mam was in intensive care was critical and spent 5 weeks in hospital and still don’t know her son is dead
I grieved for all my siblings but my youngest brother who died recently I’m like numb I can’t figure it out I loved him with all my heart we were so close he lived in USA and when we met it was as if we never left each other I’ve changed in all sorts of ways as grief chips away at you
But now I feel numb can’t understand it

 

WOW I am SO SORRY!! : ( I am 54 also and am lone sibling left, I only lost 3 Sisters. I just purchased book 'Finding Meaning The Sixth Stage of Grief'. I am sending you 'prayers' and Love Michelle

 

Thank you so much Michelle