I'm new to this.. I'm not even sure if this is what this website is for. Or if I'm posting it in the right place.. 2/10/2019 The day my life ended. He was the most amazing person I have ever met. He was only 19. He shot himself in the car we had so many memories in. He died on the side of the road, he felt so alone that he would rather died then feel what he was feeling. He destroyed me in the worst way when he took his life. We were fighting and he wanted to go home. But it wasn't even a bad fight.. He never even said good-bye, he never kissed me before he walked out the door forever. He told me he couldn't do it anymore and he was going back to South Dakota to live with his parents again. But he wanted to stay and I made him feel like he couldn't.. I won't ever get that love back. He won't ever be there in any form. I don't I believe in any life after death. But I want to. Gage was my soulmate. And o don't know how I can do it without him. He was my reason for living. He gave me hope of a life, a future, a family. We won't ever have that now. I want to be with him, I would rather be lifeless with him than have a life without him. I don't feel like anyone will ever love me the way he did. And I don't think anyone will ever appreciate me like him. How can I ever love again? And if I can't what's the point? He was the love of my life. He's only been gone for days and I can't do it anymore. Every night he isn't next to me stroking my hair makes it worse. We only got a short amount of time together and I wish I could relive it over and over. Every little thing reminds me of him. I can't even listen to music anymore because it's one of the things we bonded most over. The last pajamas he wore still smell like him, his hair is still intertwined in my hairbrush. I truly feel as if I can't go on. I feel so alone.
Jasmine, I am so sorry. I have lost many people I care about to suicide, and it is an incredibly painful loss.
Hi Jasmine. My condolences for your loss. My name is Jermaine. I lost my wife of 20 years to suicide on the 21st January 2019. I feel the same way you do. Like my life is over. We need to however believe that we will get through this pain and be happy again. It will take time. Guilt is the one thing that haunts me but I try not to dwell on it because truth be told there was nothing I could’ve done. I have to accept what has happened and live the rest of my life making her proud. I do believe in life after death and that she is watching over me. I may never see her again in this lifetime but we will meet again and it’s gonna be beautiful. I pray that God gives you strength during this time.
