Sudden lost of my only daughter my only child

Hello my name is Sydney and I lost my daughter my only child 7 months ago in a off road rollover accident in the Hills above my home. My husband is a truck driver and is gone all week long till the weekend and he is home. My daughter was 34 and lived at home with me. In 2014 I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. At the time of her death she was taking care of me and helping me with house cleaning and cooking. We were very close like best friends and did everything together. She was my rock. I miss her dearly. There is not a day that goes by that I don't cry. I know she wouldn't want me to be like this. But I just miss her so much. She was a woman that had a big heart and would do anything to help you. She loved hummingbirds and animal print. I have started a Memorial Garden in my backyard in memory of her. That has helped me a little bit with my grief. It is full of hummingbird feeders and in the spring I plan on planting flowers that attract hummingbirds she would have loved that. When she was alive she even had hummingbirds flying around your head when she would go out to feed them they would even eat from her hand. She just love that. I think the hummingbirds knew her.

 

I'm so sorry for ur loss. my 15 yr old daughter and I had the same relationship. everyone thought we were friends or sisters. we were tight at the hips and in a blink of a eye she was gone. she lived a good happy life with but she had demons too strong for us. being that her biological dad hurt her at young age then just abandoned her for her entire life took a tole on her. she had a huge heart and always put others first. she was my entire life. I miss her so much. I think I'm literally dying from a broken heart. she passed two days b4 my birthday this year. although it's been 2 and a half months already I still see her hanging on the lining closet. I see her as though she's still there...it's so aweful. how do I cope this loss ?????

 

I'm sorry for your loss she was really young. I don't know how to tell you how to cope with this because I'm having a problem myself coping with the loss of my own daughter. It will be 9 months on the 17th of this month for me and it seems like the pain never gets better. It's hard to understand why these things happen. Especially when they're taken at such a young age. I know exactly what you're going through because I'm going through the same thing. There's not a day that goes by that I don't break down and cry several times a day. I know you're missing your daughter because I'm missing my daughter the same way. But I can say one thing that's really weird is that I know my daughter is near me. It's really weird because my daughter used to smoke cigarettes and she knew how much I hated them. Before she died she was trying to quit smoking. I know this may sound crazy but every once in awhile I get the heavy smell of cigarette smoke up my nose. We don't smoke and have never smoked in the house or my car. Sometimes the smell is so strong that it gives me a headache. I think it's her way of letting me know that she is close by. Even when we go out to eat I'll get the smell of cigarette smoke. My daughter and I used to go out to eat a lot together. I really think it's her way of getting my attention because she knows how much I hated the smell of cigarette smoke. All I can say is look for signs. I really believe that they give you signs after they're gone. I really miss my daughter a lot and all I can tell you is to pray to God to help you get through the pain and grief. And please believe that one day you will be United with your daughter again. I really believe that one day I will be United with my daughter again. You know I heard somewhere that when they die they're not really dead that they just go somewhere else. And that they're always buy your side at all times. They're your guardian angel and they're looking out for you. God bless you I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

Dear Sidney and Stella:
First I want to extend my most heartfelt condolences to both of you. We never think that our children will die before we do, and the pain is often unbearable. I know how you both feel and your pain comes through in your messages. I wish I could say that the pain goes away after a period of time, but that's a lie. We just learn how to deal with it more constructively so that we can continue on with our lives.
I have been dealing with an abundance of loss for the past 15+ years and now everyone who was once near and dear to me is gone. There are still days that it's hard for me to drag myself out of bed. The most recent loss I've had to endure was my Mom, who passed away 1 1/2 years ago. It seems like yesterday.
What I can share with you is this. First, don't let people tell you how long your grief should last. Everyone deals with their heartache in their own way and nobody has the right to dictate to you what is "appropriate." Secondly, be kind to yourself and do the best you possibly can to take care of your health. This is really important. Try to eat healthy and even though you feel as if you can't...keep moving. It helps to relieve stress and just breathing in and out will help. I know it may sound foolish, but it's true. Next, find your spiritual side. I was never really religious, however I always believed that there is someone or something greater than us. So I started to pray regularly, for the strength to get through another day. Was it easy? Not hardly, but it must have worked because I'm still here.
And I also believe in signs and guardian angels. The people we lose are never really gone and I feel certain that one day we will all see one another again.
Yes, it's very lonely and very hard and truly what you and many others have experienced falls under the category of "life is not fair." However I also choose to believe that everything happens for a reason. No disrespect intended at all.
I wish you both comfort and peace and the ability to recall all the wonderful memories that you and your lost loved one shared. Thinking back to happier times will help you get through all the darkness that surrounds you now.
It will get easier and more bearable. It just takes time.

Hugs to you both.

Ellen

 

Hi Stella it's Sydney I'm just wondering how you're doing I can't imagine how hard it's been for you to find your daughter that way anyways I'm just wondering how you're doing I hope you're alright.

 

So sorry i just lost my 36 year old daughter, i think she had a heart attact. I am trying to care for her kids, i will pray for you

 

Hi Kathy I'm sorry for your loss. I will also be praying for you too if you ever need to talk to anybody you can just write me. It's always nice to talk to somebody and express your what you're feeling. Anyways I'm praying for you and your family God bless you.