Sometimes it's too much for me to bear

Although I'm not any different than anyone else I was recently widowed for the fourth time back in September 20th 2019 when I lost my beloved wife Sophia my best friend and soulmate and my whole world unexpectedly from a heart attack. I wonder sometimes how do I make it through the days let alone that I've also lost two children at Birth and a third child who is eight was absconded by her mother and my fourth child is mentally ill and has no remorse for actions attempted to murder me last November by ambushing me in my own garage with aluminum baseball bat and although I survived the attack and bear a massive scar it was so difficult even despite what happened to have my own daughter prosecuted and sent to prison. The days can be so long and so painful and so lonely yeah I find Refuge in the Lord and my three dogs but it is a lonely suffering sometimes because sometimes it's so difficult and so hard to bear as I have long feared that the sins of the past would come revisit me