My sister was killed in a head on collision 4 days ago. I'm devastated. I'm lost. I'm acting out in some of the most destructive ways. I'm scaring my roommate to the point where she doesn't know what to do with me either. I have a friend that sent me a link to this website. Today was her funeral but I was too wasted to attend. I'd rather not see all our friends and family. They can't help me either. Help... seems like a weighted question at this point. What does help look like? Where do i start? I want to sleep. Bury myself in my bed and wait. Wait til I want to see the sun. Wait til i want to breathe in fresh air. I can't seem to breathe. I haven't eaten in 3 days. Whisky helps with that. Perhaps I'll be better next week. Maybe i'll never recover. I'm not suicidal. But I don't want to live. Does that make sense?