Singing my song

I am still dealing with the estate matters for my deceased love ones. It's been over 5 years. My family did not have paperwork or things in order prior to demise. I have had to read a lot, get consultation about stuff and figure things out on my own. It's lonely in the middle. My adult kids and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted, angry and sad that we do not know much in regards to "Executor of the Estate" stuff. I have no living siblings. My bank account is whacked. COVID19 has changed my employment and I feel like I am in a paddle boat, all alone, going around in circles.