September 11 2018

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by KatStaff75, Oct 8, 2018.

  1. KatStaff75

    KatStaff75 Member

    My 22 year old son died on September 11 2018, so a day I,already dressed was made,so,much worse, on top of that, my brother, who happens to have been born on September 11, is the one who came to pick me up and was the one who told me. It has been four weeks and I still feel shattered. I have a daughter who is a year younger than my son and a granddaughter who was almost nine months old when my son died and I try to hold it together for them. My daughter has her little family and is doing what she needs to to make it day to day but sometimes I feel like he is being erased from our home and our lives.
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Kat, I'm so very sorry your loss. I don't think we ever really "get over" our losses, and I certainly don't think anyone can be expected to be moving forward so soon after such a big loss. I think there is a part of you that will always feel "shattered"- in that way that only someone who has lost a child can feel. It's hard because while the rest of your family has also experienced a loss it's going to be very different for them. The loss itself, the relationship they had to your son, and the place they're at in their life...while we'd hope our family can be the one to help us through, it's hard when everyone is trying to cope, and cope in their own way. We have an article related to this you may find helpful: https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/supportive-youre-grieving/. Here we talk about the necessity of keeping our loved one's memory alive as a family- by sharing stories, speaking their name...laughing and crying together.
    In the meanwhile I think it's also very important that you find help and people to talk to. This type of loss in particular, it's going to be so important to find other parents who have lost a child to talk to. I hope you can find that here.
    I'm glad you've found us and that you're reaching out for help. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. If you have any specific question or issues you'd like to address, know that's what we're here for. Please take care~
  3. Sciguy

    Sciguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your son. I hope you find this site helpful.
  4. Carmela Rule

    Carmela Rule Member

    Hi Kat so sorry for your loss I can relate so well 12-12-12 we lost our oldest son he was 35yrs married for 12yrs 2 daughters I can tell you that I have not much recollection of 2013 2014 .. So lost in the sorrow I carry .. I was like a robot just going through the motions of life I couldn't bear to see photographs of him .. It will be 6yrs come Dec. And its so hard .. What I wouldn't give to hold him hear his voice again .. You are just at the beginning stages .. I hope you find peace ..
  5. Hello! My son was taken from me suddenly on the 10th Sept 2018 he was 37, I just need to connect with understanding people to share this unbearable life changing grief.
  6. KatStaff75

    KatStaff75 Member

    I do understand. I get up everyday, I live, I breathe but it hurts. After four months I still miss him with every fiber of my being. I am so sorry that you are suffering the same pain.
  7. I find I have to hang on to the feeling that fear for me has gone as I am living the worst fear so there is no other, I can take chances live life without fear no one or nothing can hurt me now.
  8. KatStaff75

    KatStaff75 Member

    I have a daughter and a granddaughter so I still hold on to them. For me, I still fear. I am trying to find faith. Faith that there is a reason I lost my son. Even when most days I just feel so empty and lost.
  9. Good luck with faith
    How are you trying to find the faith, I'm struggling with that though I know if I could it would help somewhat.
  10. KatStaff75

    KatStaff75 Member

    I have always been a reader so I have turned to books on religion and spirituality. I won't say it has been easy or that it is easy but I have to try.
    My son truly believed when it was your time it was your time. He got that from me but,now I struggle with that.