Lost my mother (93) on 4/25 to CHF. The only town I know is where I am right now. She was upstairs; I was downstairs in our family home. After my father passed on 2013, I, and my siblings, took care of her. Since I lived here, I took care of the house, did a lot of her errands and did what I could to protect her and keep her safe. My siblings and I were going to do everything we could do to keep her in her home, and we were successful (with the help of God, I truly believe). She began going downhill after a fall in Feb but was doing OK. But then last month, after a visit in the hospital, it was determined she needed hospice, so we all knew the end was coming. Even though we were not terribly close, I feel her loss just as anyone would feel the loss of a parent. I did what I had to do as her daughter to keep her safe, and I know she knows that. My point is that not everyone has a close relationship with their parents (one or both), but the loss is there and will always remain. I have to move out of the only town I know and love, and it terrifies me and makes me sad. I wish I were more bold, but it's just not how I'm wired. I keep praying everything will be OK and work out, but I'm still scared...as a grown woman.
Hi Southpaw, I lost my mom September 2nd, 2020. My daughter and I lived with her. I'll be 41 and my daughter just turned 4. I'm a single mom. I do not work right now and I do not drive. We live next door to my brother and his family and he's letting us live here still, rent free for now. My dad lives 5 hours or so away and still supports me to a certain extent. My mom and I were VERY, VERY close. She was my best friend and she was the only person on this planet, who understood me and supported me no matter if I failed or succeeded in something. I'm constantly being judged by my brother and sister in law. I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, recently. I'm on medication for depression and anxiety. (The anxiety is fierce) It's almost a year that my mom is gone now and I still need to get my life in order. I have to support my daughter and I don't know how. I also might have to eventually move, because my therapist and the nurse that's working with me for my anxiety, feels I should. They think my brother is a trigger for my emotions. He's very opinionated and mean, when he wants to be. (He's also younger and more successful than I am) ... Point here is that you're not alone and you're not the only one who's terrified to make changes. I have to make drastic lifestyle changes, so my daughter doesn't lose me like I lost my mom. My mom was 62 when she passed and when my daughter is 21, I'll be my mom's age. So, the anxiety never goes away. Please hang in there and if you need to talk, please reach out. I'm still new to this grieving and feel like I never had the chance to do it right. P.S. I also believe that God helped me get this far..... I thank him every day for allowing me to wake up and still be with my daughter. Much love to you.
