Recently lost my dad

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by Cadillacmansdaughter, Nov 30, 2022.

  1. I lost my dad on 11/4/2022. He had COPD, CHF, and diabetes. He unfortunately caught pneumonia one week before he passed.

    My husband and I had visited him at the nursing home on 10/28, and he seemed fine then. The next morning, my stepmom called to tell us he had been admitted to the ICU and was on life support. We visited him as much as possible while he was in ICU. He was awake and alert the day before he passed; we visited him and while he was still on a ventilator and unable to speak, he did recognize us and understood when we spoke to him. The nurses were talking about getting him off the vent by the end of the weekend.

    Sadly, the next day I got a call from my stepsister saying that Dad's organs were shutting down and to get to the hospital right away, as he only had a few hours left. We rushed down there and sat with him while his condition deteriorated. We touched his hands and talked to him, told him we loved him. He passed when I was outside getting some air; I had told him I loved him and was going to get some fresh air and come back. I think he didn't want me to see him take his last breath, which in hindsight is probably for the best. I think I would have felt even worse if I had been in the room when he passed.

    Seeing my dad deceased was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. It was such a shock and still is to a certain extent. While the nurses and hospital staff were amazing and took great care of my dad and us family members and I am grateful, I wanted to run out of that ICU and get as far away from the hospital as possible. It was simply too painful.
  2. Replying to my own post as I just need to get this out there. Yesterday was hard; some days I feel good, almost "normal." Yesterday was not one of those days; I couldn't help crying. I miss my dad so much. Hard to believe it's been 1 month already. Although I know he was ready to go and that I have no control over the situation, it still hurts.
  3. HollyPM

    HollyPM New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mom in March and my dad in 2010. Your share reminded me of both of my parents passings. So unbelievably difficult. It is totally normal to have good moments and bad moments. Tough days and okay days. It gets easier, but never easy. And take your time in your grief. Do what you need to do, whatever that is. So glad you are here reaching out to others.
  4. Thank you for your reply. It is beyond difficult; sometimes it hits me in different ways. I was listening to holiday music at work this afternoon and suddenly started feeling depressed. Other times I start thinking about the day he passed away, and it feels so fresh and shocking. The roller coaster of emotions is hard to manage at times.