Praying for

Discussion in 'LGBTQ Loss' started by Cam2021, Dec 7, 2021.

  1. Cam2021

    Cam2021 New Member

    I lost my wife on 11/14/21 at 7:59am. She was 40 years old. We'd been together for 7 years married 5. We have a set of twin boys 4 years old. I had been up for over 48 hour straight hold her hand, loving on her, talking to her she wasn't responding except for a hand squeeze here and there. She'd always say how strong I was how I was able to take care of her, work, take care of our kids and the house. She'd been battling with Cervical Cancer since 2019 and the last 8 months the pain was so bad some days she didn't want to eat. I would make her favorite foods and beg her to eat. I took care of my wife at home and in the last two months of her life she had become immobile because the Cancer had metastasize to her hip bones and her spine. I made sure I got her out the bed and took her the living room or kitchen so she could look out the window or just for a change in scenery from our bedroom.
    I'm so broken and people just expect me to be okay. As I'm generally a very strong person and On top of that I'm a nurse. As much as I tried to prepare myself for this in reality you can never really prepare yourself to lose your soulmate. Yes I'm able to get up and do the things I need to do for our children, but when it's quiet and the movement of the day has stopped it's in those moments where I struggle the most. I struggle to breathe, I struggle to sleep, I struggle to think, I struggle to move. Y'all pray for me and my sons.
  2. MarioKiki

    MarioKiki Member

    Hi Cam - I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to the expectation people have of wanting you to just be okay. What helps me is remembering that everyone grieves differently; I read that you're struggling, but it's okay to struggle. Whenever you have a quiet moment, just take a deep breath, and remind yourself of the love you have for your wife. For me, remembering the love I had for my departed had for me helps me keep going. I will keep you and your sons in my prayers. Reminder that you're not alone, and we're here for you.