So I'll just lay it out here. Maybe I'll feel better. It's been very bleak around here, getting worse. I just miss her so much words can't describe. When I've talked with relatives about it, it gets awkward and they wanna change the subject. They have their happy little carefree lives to think about. I can't blame them. They have no conception of losing their soulmate: they stopped calling anyway. I've been told : now it's time to get on with my life, get out socialize meet people. Well, don't nobody wanna hear about my dead wife and that's all that's on my mind. I've made up my mind I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I mean: what would I do if I met someone, take my wife's photo out of my wallet and replace it with someone else's? Take her pictures off the wall and box them up? The thought makes me sick to my stomach. Even just meeting new friends or hanging with old friends: you have to bring something to the table and all I have is grief and despair. Alchohol is my only friend now and the happy memories of her. I'm not looking for any inspirational responses as they're not working anyway. I just needed to get this out.