*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

Navigating Grief: A Journey Through Loss and Resilience

Discussion in 'Loss of Both Parents' started by Karrieberrey, Jan 28, 2025.

  1. Karrieberrey

    Karrieberrey New Member

    A little backstory: I am the oldest of three girls in my mid-20s. A few years ago, I went on a trip with my friends to the mountains in Colorado. I came home to an absolute nightmare where my life changed. Before I left, both of my parents had gotten COVID. I came home to find my dad barely able to breathe. I fought with him to go to the hospital, and he finally agreed, which ultimately saved his life.

    The next day, I went to check on my mom, and she passed away in front of my sisters and me. I was in so much shock, thinking, "What if I lose both of my parents? What am I going to do?" Being the oldest, I had to try to hold everything together. My dad fought for his life in the hospital for three months, filled with ups and downs, not knowing if he would survive. The biggest blessing in my life is that he pulled through.

    During that time, I was responsible for communicating with the doctors about his care, taking care of my sisters, and making sure we were financially and legally okay. It was one of the most stressful times of my life, and I relied on my faith to get me through it—and I still do.

    While my dad was hospitalized, my mom’s family really turned on my sisters and me, adding even more stress. They wanted to have a funeral for my mom without my dad there—claiming he wouldn’t care. They had been married for almost 33 years. We were constantly accused of not telling them what was really going on with my dad. It was really hard not having our family’s support and, instead, facing backstabbing and abandonment.

    Once my dad was okay and able to live a normal life again, my sisters and I had the best time with him. Fast forward to exactly 18 months after my mom passed. One of my sisters was still in college out of state. We would always go to Mass on Sunday, and one Sunday morning, our dog kept barking and barking. My sister started screaming, saying, “Dad isn’t breathing.” I literally thought I was going to die. He passed away in his sleep right before Thanksgiving. I didn’t know how I was going to survive. I had lost everything I couldn’t begin to imagine.

    We had to call my sister in college to let her know what had happened, which was the worst. She came home, and we all planned his funeral, which was the day before Thanksgiving. From that point forward, my sisters turned to me to help us get through this nightmare. I didn’t know how I was going to get myself through this pain. I had to step into the role of both a parent and a sister at the same time.

    Over the last couple of years, I’ve really struggled with how to move forward after losing my parents and with experiencing many firsts that will stay with me for the rest of my life, like getting married without my parents or welcoming my own children into this world. I do have a boyfriend, but he’s not particularly close to his parents. Growing up, my grandparents were essential to my life. It’s also really hard not having proper support from family and friends; I’ve lost a lot of friendships, which makes things even harder.

    I’ve always wondered why some of the closest people in your life will turn on you when you go through something so tragic. Something else that has been really difficult is keeping up with everything financially and legally. There are days when I am still in denial and don’t know what to do anymore. I’m the type of person who always tries to stay positive, but at times, it’s hard when grief strikes.

    I’ve been in therapy for a couple of years, and I think it’s been beneficial, but I’ve always had a really hard time opening up about how I’m feeling. What are ways that you find positivity and gratitude when dealing with grief? What helps you when you have "one of those days"?