My brother was murdered.

July 12th 2019,
Started off like any other, only a month at my new job. Barely out of training. My boss approached me and asked for my phone to "sync something to it. " I gave her my phone. About 10 minutes later I was taking trash out and she was crying. I was worried about her. Little did I know those tears were shed for my family.. about 20 minutes later my boss asked me to collect my things so we could "go on a trip real quick" I grabbed my purse and told her I was ready. As we walked out of the doors I asked her is she was ok. She replied yes it's just hot. (It was 112 so I believed her.) We walked outside and she just stopped. I asked her if I was being fired. She said no I'll be fired before you would be.
That moment my moms car pulled up. ( my mon and I both work at the same comoany) I asked her what she was doing there. My boss gave me a high I'll never forget and told me to go with my mom.
My moms eyed were blood shot and I knew something was wrong.
We lost my sister 5 years before to illness and I had this sinking feeling. It all felt to familiar.
My boss handed my phone to my mom and I got in the car.
Mom"Honey your father," is all I let her get out. Me"Mom what happened to my dad, is he ok?"
Mom"Honey your and I need to talk to you"
"
Me: what's wrong I know something's wrong. I'd my grandma ok? I need to know shes fine.
Mom: your grandma is fine.
Me. Daniel what's wrong with Daniel. Is he ok?
Mom: Honey there has been a shooting.
( for this split second I though lt. It's ok hes in surgery nothing to worrily about yet. He'll be fine. My moms just scared. This was my last moment of hopefulness.
Then I heard these words.
"He didnt make it."
Everything shattered. My baby brother. 26 years old, shot to death. Was he alone, who did this? Why?
We called my dad. Mom mom told him. "She knows. My dad said " jesus, how does she know." I told him. "Dad I knew something was wrong, I've only felt this feeling before when Brandi died." He said well what do you want to know. I said everything.
He told me Daniel was seen talking to men in a white truck, they pulled out a shotgun and shot him... this left me more confused. How could shoot my brother in cold blood. This wasnt the story.
The shooter thought my brother was sleeping with his girlfriend. They got into a fight. My brother knocked him down. Told him this is stupid just stay down. This isnt worth fighting over. The guy went back to his truck pulled out a shotgun. My brother charged him, the shooter pulled the trigger and shot my brothers stomach out. If he had been left handed my brother would still be here.
At first knowing my brother saw the gun and charged made me feel better. My brother was always one not to back down from a fight. I can hear him say " Sis dont be sad I went out like a Warrior. I saw that gun and I didnt run, or cower.. but had he not charged had he backed up, would he still be here today? Would I still have my hunger brother?
I feel so empty. I'm getting a slight promotion at this job and I feel numb to it. I smile and I laugh but I feel like nothing matters.
People tell me I'll be ok, I'll get through it. I get so mad. In my Hess I think "I KNOW I WILL. I ALREADY HAD TO DO THIS!!!"
But murder is so much different then losing a loved one to illness.
I need someone I can talk to who understands this ache in my chest.

 

I understand my 28 year old brother was murdered September 2nd 2018 it's horrible pain .