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my Annie

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Jack Chapek, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. Jack Chapek

    Jack Chapek New Member

    I lost the love of my life,my soul mate, my fiance. It's hard to go on with out her. It's been 2 months since I lost her but time is not helping my sorrow. If I had to choose between knowing her and breathing I would use my last breath to tell her that I love her.
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    What a beautiful sentiment, one that I'm sure is shared by so many here. I'm glad you've found our site and hope you can find comfort as you connect and learn from each other what this process of grieving can look like. It takes time, so much more time than we could ever guess, but there is support and people who understand. Thank you for sharing your story and for being here...
     
  3. Anne Sims

    Anne Sims New Member

    I do believe that our loved ones are still with us in spirit. What a beautiful sentiment. I've had the loss of my father and 3 weeks later my fiancé suddenly passed. I find comfort in believing in the "signs" that they are still with me everyday.
     
  4. Ellen C

    Ellen C Guest

    Dear Jack:
    I am so sorry about your fiancé. She was a very lucky woman to have had a man in her life to love her as much as you obviously did and still do. I can't remember the last time I heard such a heartfelt expression of emotions. Two months is a very short time when you're dealing with grief. It's equivalent to 20 minutes, if that long. You're still in shock and disbelief and you need to give yourself time. I know the process well because I have lost a great deal in my life. Basically everyone that ever meant anything to me. I can compare the feeling of that loss to having open heart surgery while you're still awake. Sadly, I know exactly how you feel.

    I also believe that it's so very important to never take anyone or anything for granted and to show your love every single day because you never know when it's your last. I am quite certain that your fiancé knew how much she was loved and you need to hold onto that. The only regret you should have is that she is no longer with you physically. However I also believe in spirits and signs and that you never really lose that love because it's inside of you.

    Give yourself the time you need to grieve, in whatever expression that is. Don't let anyone rush you or tell you it's time to move on. Only you will know when you're ready to feel any kind of normalcy in your life and it may take a very long time. In the meantime, take good care of your mind and your body. Get enough rest, eat healthy, exercise as much as you can and just keep moving. That's what I did, even on the days where I had to drag myself out of bed. Yes, it's hard, but it's the only choice we have. I struggled to live my life in a way that would make the people that I lost proud of me. I knew that's what they would have wanted.
    Do I ever stop missing my parents or my daughter, or even the husband who betrayed me and has moved on? No, not hardly. But I made a promise to them and to myself....to be OK and to work at being happy. I always keep my promises. And so will you. Your fiancé would want you to live life because you have a lot of it left.

    Again, I am sorry for your loss. I wish you all the comfort needed to start to heal and all the strength you can muster up to continue on.

    And remember, we're New Yorkers and we're strong and resilient.

    Be well~Ellen