*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

Multiple losses & depression

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by sdvalentine, Jul 24, 2024.

  1. sdvalentine

    sdvalentine New Member

    I sought this site out. I’m new. Don’t know where to start but have lost many in my life now. Most recently my sister who passed away last week. I have no living direct ancestry (no parents / grandparents) I’ve lost my only brother, one of my 4 sisters. My nephew, and my nephews mom, who is my half sister is incarcerated related to his murder and neglect & abuse to both him and my niece. There’s so much more to it but don’t have time. I generally always try to stay positive, but I’m just so tired…..
     
    Chris M 2000 and erinkath like this.
  2. erinkath

    erinkath New Member

    I relate - with exhaustion from many losses it's hard to revive! Sending hugs & hope we have progress & can renew & move forward asap. XO ~ Hang in there.
     
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  3. Alli-gator19

    Alli-gator19 New Member

    So sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to stay positive and keep on going when everything is falling down around you. I keep hoping one of these days the whole world just takes a pause so we have time to process and take the time we need for ourselves. Hoping that you find the time to rest and grieve and take care of yourself.
     
    Chris M 2000 and erinkath like this.
  4. erinkath

    erinkath New Member

    Thank you SO much for your supportive kind comments - it helps lots & may this holiday season be a renewing & filled with warmth one for you! ~ Anne
     
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  5. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    Grief can wear a person out. It can sap all the strength out of you. I found the only way to continue on through my extreme weariness, was to look to God to help me. He can be a strength and can grant us wisdom. He has helped me so much.
    We love you. Hang on to hope.
    Chris
     
  6. Alilje

    Alilje New Member

    A friend of mine passed information on about this site to me knowing I am grieving from multiple losses. Some of them are fresh and others are not, I just can’t seem to find a way to ease the pain. I am just looking around at the posts and I feel for each story I read.

    For me my grieving is multifaceted. I suffer from a fairly rare autoimmune disorder that has significantly impacted my well being and ability to function. The loss of mobility and other issues has shrunk my world from a busy, outgoing, exciting life to one I am still struggling to cope with.

    My first huge loss in my life was the loss of contact with my nephews Jake and Matthew. I love them dearly but because I am a Lesbian in a committed relationship my brother cut off all communication with me when they were 8 and 6 years old because he believed what his church taught him - that his sons would become confused if they had a relationship with me and my wife. We both were devastated by that and we still grieve the loss today. Then last year my mother passed. Although she was getting up in years she died from a problem they didn’t know she had. Her doctors just missed it. Finally, 4 months ago I lost my two best friends in the world. Between the health problems I was having and the grief of my mother’s passing they just could not deal with it or be around me - they were extended family I never had.

    it’s been a struggle every day. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other. I am so grateful for my wife and the support she has shown me. I would be lost without her.
     
  7. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    I am sorry for the loss of your mother and two best friends. We are all so grateful for friends who are kind and care.
    I hope you get to feeling better.
    Christine
     
  8. Chris M 2000

    Chris M 2000 Well-Known Member

    No wonder you are so tired. Going through all that you have described would make anyone worn out.
    I hope you are taking good care of yourself. Drink plenty of water and take a walk each day, even if it is a very short waGet a good night's sleep, as much as is possible.
    Chris
     
  9. Karinreed

    Karinreed New Member

    Went to my first Grief Share meeting yesterday, but could not share because I get too emotional.
    After a couple years of having Mom in Assisted Living and kind of having lost her little bit at a time, since you could no longer hold a conversation or comprehend what was going on. I was ready for her death in September 2024, Then my daughter 37 got ill but seemed to make a recovery and was released to go back to work, the Saturday before her first day back, she passed away October 26 2024 in her sleep, this death was so unexpected and basically took me and my husband's breath away in disbelief. My Brother Dieter was diagnosed with lung cancer in August, a healthy hiking outdoorsy type, passed away in November 2024
    I miss all of them, but my daughter's death is very painful. I have ok days and some not so good, just started griefshare yesterday 1/9/2025
    When you live your "normal" life you are not even aware what goes on behind the scenes of suffering losses. Then I think about God and the ultimate sacrifice and I dont understand it, for him to want to save us, weak flesh undeserving people, mindboggling.
    I wonder if and when I can control my tears and sorrow. I have other living children, and I try to be present, feeling guilty that she is always on my mind.
    I also feel guilty because she for a moment that week was not feeling well, and I was thinking of visiting her. But instead stayed home to receive a friend from out of state that wanted to make me feel better for losing my Mom. I wish I would have gone and been with my daughter, but I cannot undo my decision. She died alone in her sleep. I have her ashes and have not had a service for her, I just cant.
    sdvalentine, I understand that you are tired, I force myself every day to get up and do stuff, walk the dog, clean, cook, sew, social gatherings are unbearable right now because small talk is just stupid at this time. Also want to crawl up and stay in bed, but that is not an option I will allow myself. Giving you a hug from afar and hope you move through the griefshare and we at some point hope to get better
     
    Chris M 2000 likes this.
  10. Alilje

    Alilje New Member

    Thank you. It’s been a struggle. I just put one foot in front of another.