*DAYTIME AND EVENING GENERAL GRIEF GROUPS AVAILABLE EVERY WEEK* CLICK HERE TO JOIN US!

Miss my girl

Discussion in 'Loss of Child' started by Dorit Lamparter, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. Dorit Lamparter

    Dorit Lamparter New Member

    Lost my daughter to bone cancer 2/16/15. She was 16 years old. The pain is still so fresh. I cry everyday. I put a mask on just to make it through the day. I don’t want to see extended family for holidays. I have 2 sons that I have to live for. I just don’t understand why these things have to happen to these innocent young children. It breaks my heart.
     
  2. Esmirelda

    Esmirelda New Member

    I hear you.
    How horribly unfair it is.
    I lost my 22 year old to cancer last month.
    My only child.
    It doesn’t make any sense.
    Counciling helps.
    Please take care of yourself.
     
  3. CYNJ01

    CYNJ01 New Member

    Thank you for responding. I lost my son he was 24 and had a really bad asthma attack last year May 16th and now his anniversary coming up and it's so hard.
    I'm still learning how to accept the loss please continue to pray for me and I will pray for you.
     
  4. CYNJ01

    CYNJ01 New Member

    The pain seems unbearable ..We're never going to understand the pain we endure, but we have to believe that they're in a better place and even though we would love to have them here with us forever, the only thing we can do right now at this moment is hold on to the love that we have given them and know that they're always in our hearts.
     
  5. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    Dorit,

    So sorry for the loss of your daughter. She was a beautiful young teenager, but of course, all children are beautiful. Having intense pain inside is bad enough, but also trying to keep your sorrow to yourself does not help you personally. Over time your emotions build-up inside and if you are not careful they can make you have a nervous breakdown. I did after my dad's death back in 1990, and had to be treated with antidepressants.

    Skipping holidays is natural to help avoid some of the possible shallow comments others can say, when they think they are helping, it is something we all wish to avoid. When a persons heart is not in their words you can actually see and feel it, as though they are just going through the routine to get the tough part of the conversation out of the way. So it is normal to avoid those moments.

    Losing one child is extremely disheartening, and also having two sons makes you realize they also lost their sister and have so many mixed feelings inside due to that loss. I wouldn't push them, but I wouldn't avoid them either. If they feel like talking they will open up to you.

    Just take each day slowly. Take care of yourself, and keep reaching out. Peace be with you.

    -david
     
  6. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member


    Esmirelda,

    I am saddened by the loss of your child. Yes, counseling is the first and best option after loss. I hope since your loss that each new day has been easier to get through.
    Please take care of yourself as well. Reaching out to others helps a lot also.

    -david
     
  7. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    CYNJ,

    So sorry for the loss of your son. Anniversaries are so tough to get beyond. Last month it was the 5th year anniversary of my wife's death. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that as each day passes for you that the weight of your son's profound loss will be easier. Please take care of yourself. Also, keep reaching out whenever you feel like it.

    -david
     
  8. CYNJ01

    CYNJ01 New Member

    David,
    Thank you I appreciate it so much because everyday is a struggle getting up out the bed to going to sleep at night, but I also have two other sons and grandchildren that needs me and I try to stay strong for them and also keeping in mind that they also lost a brother and i know there grieving as well, so I try not to make it about me but try to be there for all of us, but it's so hard

    some days I can pick myself up I'm having a bad day and move on and some days I just can't control it, but I know God is with me as I go through this storm, so I try to keep praying, hold on to my faith and remember how much I have to live for ...thank you so much for your encouraging words and thanks for sharing.
     
  9. David Hughes

    David Hughes Well-Known Member

    CYNJ,

    You are quite welcome. I just wish I could take all the pain we all possess in the world away and never let it ever see the light of day ever again. I thought loss diminishes with time, it is only time that has passed, and all those memories will be with us for a lifetime. I truly hope my tears will never stop, for if they do then I must be no more - I want to feel life and all it offers no matter what.

    God will always be with us. I am a Roman Catholic who has grasped my faith throughout my life and will till the day I die. Yes for our children, for the others we love, we shall fight to stay alive for each one of them, and do the best we can to show them love and guide them, even if it takes the help of others.

    -david

    Some of the most beautiful songs come from movies, I offer you this one today