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Lost partner of 49 years.

Discussion in 'LGBTQ Loss' started by Larry Johnson, Jul 29, 2021.

  1. Larry Johnson

    Larry Johnson New Member

    I lost my partner after 49 years of loving each other. He had a heart attack and died in my arms. For the last 40 years we were together 24/7. We were a no drama couple. This happened the end of January 2021. People said it would get easier. It has gotten harder day after lonely day. I am alone. No children, no family nearby and no close friends. I traveled to my sisters house and had a nice time, but came home to an empty house. There are days when it seems impossible to go on. A 74 year old man and crying day after day. Help
     
    ShellieWannatelli likes this.
  2. Daniele

    Daniele Member

    Larry, I'm so deeply sorry for your great loss. Sending strength your way as you grieve.
     
  3. RaymondnTony

    RaymondnTony Member

    Hi Larry,

    It’s extremely painful. I know. I’m going through the exact same thing unfortunately.
    My husband passed away this past August. We were together 35 years and legally married for 5 of those years.
    I am also alone. All my family lives in another state and I have no friends where I live. I feel like I’m in a nightmare everyday and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. we were also always together 99% of the time. I don’t know if I can survive this much longer as the pain is intolerable for me to be without him.
    please feel free to reach out to me if you’d like someone to talk to as I could use tat as well.

    Sincerely,
    Raymond
     
  4. Larry Johnson

    Larry Johnson New Member

    Hi Raymond, Thank you for your email. I am right there with you. Everyone said it would get easier after 6 months. Tomorrow will be 8 months and I am worse. Some days I feel like I just can’t go on. John was my life. Now that is gone and like you all alone. No family, no friends near. Why did we move to such a place? I am lost. I wish I had some great advice for you, but there just isn’t any. I live in Cherry Valley, California which is pure red neck country. Feel free to contact me at anytime. My meltdown time is usually 8pm. Just the hard part of the day.
    Take care,
    Larry
     
  5. ljjredbutterfly

    ljjredbutterfly New Member

    arry,
    I am so sorry doe your loss!!
     
  6. ljjredbutterfly

    ljjredbutterfly New Member

    Ugh. I actually said, "Larry, I am SO sorry for your loss!!!
     
  7. ljjredbutterfly

    ljjredbutterfly New Member

    Hi Raymond,
    Your situation is very similar to mine. My wife and I were also together for 35 years and were married for 5. She was my world and she died on Aug.14, 2021. It is getting harder, not easier and i am not sure how to go on most days, or if I want to. I am very busy at work so the days are ok-ish. It's the nights and weekend that are rough.
     
  8. DougM

    DougM Member

    Larry,
    My deepest sympathy to you due to the loss of your beloved partner. My dear Allan passed away a year ago this December 8th. I am able to empathize with you in so many ways. We were together almost thirty-one years, and we did nearly everything together. The friends we had in the early years of our relationship faded away for the most part. Before Allan became disabled, we took care of his parents. Overall, our friends did not understand why we devoted so much time to them when we were not working at our full-time positions. I like you do not have any friends with which to spend time now. I do have great support from my sister and her husband as well as Allan’s sister and her husband, but thank God, they have not lost their spouse and love of their life. They try, but they do not truly understand. We neither have any children. I am very lonely and miss him so much every day.

    If you would like to reach out to me, I believe we will be able to provide some support for one another.

    I am extending comfort, strength, and care to you. Be good to yourself.

    Doug
     
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  10. Hi Larry! I'm not on here very much, don't have a lot of time, but with Covid raging everywhere, there are no support groups, etc, none in my area anyway. I live in a rural area in the small state of West Virginia. I'm sure your partner would not want you to keep having these horrible feelings inside. He would want you to heal. I know that's easier said than done. I've had two close friends die within the last two years myself. I'm 57, and they were 57 also. I don't know why I thought I'd always have these two women to talk to, I thought they'd live until they were 80 maybe? Don't know why I was thinking that??? One had a freak accident, tree fell on her while she was out walking. The other girl died of lung cancer, but it was rather sudden. Hope you can make friends on here and maybe even around where you live and that you can keep your mind busy. I know it's hard to keep busy sometimes at home by oneself. Let us know how are you doing, and take care! Shellie