She hadn’t been feeling well but was sleeping good when I jumped in the shower yesterday. When I got out I gave her a kiss on the forehead and she was cold. I immediately started CPR and called 911, but she was already gone. I can’t help but think if I hadn’t gotten up to shower, I would have been there for her. She was only 47 and I’m 55. We were starting to plan our new life together…we’d only been married 9 months. This was our first summer to be able to travel together and everything was coming together. We were so in love. I am so completely devastated I don’t know how to move forward. She was my soulmate and the love of my life. I am not able to sleep or stop crying. I don’t know how to continue living without her. I have so many negatives floating around in my head. Please help me
So very sorry for your loss. Do not blame yourself for not being there. She may have wanted it that way. Many of our loved ones chose their time for reasons we do not understand. She knows you love her. Focus on the happy moments you had together -the love you shared. She will always be with you in your heart. Grieving is different for each of us. There are no rules and no time frames. There will be up and downs but gradually it will get softer . We are here to listen and offer what support we can. We know the lows and the highs. Give yourself time to grieve - to cry or to scream - it is ok. HUGS
So sorry for your loss. Ceee is correct, don't blame yourself. I lost my wife suddenly to a pulmonary embolism in December of 2023. We hade been married for 34 years and together for 39. She was with me one minute acting fine, then she was gone. I know where you are coming from. It completely sucks. I was fortunate to find a support group (GriefShare) that helped me immensly. This and my faith are pulling me through, but the pain is always there. Do you belong to a faith based community? If so check and see if they have any support groups that may help talk things out. We are also here for you.
Dear dfx101, I am so, so sorry for your loss, I have recently lost my husband of 38 years. Cee wrote you a beautiful reply, but I know the hole in your heart remains no matter what any of us living beings tells you. We all return from spirit to this human existence to learn and experience what we need in order to advance on our soul level. Before we return to this physical plane, we have a well scripted life story. Your wife was meant to return to spirit, or meant to "graduate" to a higher level of consciousness, exactly when she did. As Ceee wrote, you could not have stopped your wife from "graduating", when she did. Hold her in your heart. Send her love, everyday, and talk to her. If you are sensitive to spirit, you might feel her presence, but if you don't, know that she is with you, always. You are connected on the soul level. She can hear you and see you. Try and be kind to yourself and know that you will be reunited with the love of your life, in higher consciousness/spirit, when it is time for your life story to end. Love is eternal, you and your wife are eternal. Cherish that you were gifted a profound love, in your human story. You might feel alone in a crowd, totally clueless what to do from day to day, without your loved one; I know. Remember that so many other people are experiencing the same life lessons, and try everyday to be kind to yourself and say or do something for someone else who might also be suffering inside and in need of your kindness. PS I have been meditating everyday, for several months, since my husband's "graduation", and it has really helped me to calm my soul, and to stabilize my mood swings. You don't need any mantra or convoluted body postures. Take n a deep breath through your nose, and exhale very slowly, through your mouth. Exhale longer than you inhale to relax the nerve at the base of your spine. Do this three times. Sit comfortably in a quiet place, where you will bot be disrupted. Clear your mind of all your human thoughts and just LISTEN. If your mind drags in a thought, push it away. Just listen . You can focus on your breath or on your wife, but no thinking, just listen. It has helped me, and I will keep meditating, daily. Even 5 minutes can make a difference. May you find peace.
