Helena,
At 3:45 a.m, tomorrow, it'll be ten months since my husband's Bob's death. He had many serious heath problems, all treated as chronic conditions, one of them was kidney cancer, that by the time it was correctly diagnosed, had spread into his vena cava, and lungs. After a very long operation (Bob almost died on the table), one of his kidney's was successfully removed. Once he had healed, lots of at home PT and OT, and regained back a bit of strength, he was given oral immunotherapy drugs that thankfully, he was able to take at home. Although there were side effects, they were managable and he was able to go back to work. We enjoyed life as fully as we possibly could, went out for dinner, took lots of day trips to nowhere, and went on vacations with two of our very best friends. Life wasn't that bad. By the end of 2017, he was getting tired much more easily, and was becoming weaker. I had to help with his ADL's, and he no longer could work. However, we were still able to enjoy life, and took advantage of the days, times when he was feeling the best.
In the beginning of 2018, at the same time that we moved, his health began spiraling downward rapidly. The immunotherapy drugs no longer worked. I had to scramble to find new specialists for him, as he needed one for just about every body part. Very long story short, I became his full time caregiver, our weekly schedules were packed with medical appointments, infusions, scans, labs, PT, OT, ambulance rides, hospital stays, and at the end of his life, two stays in acute rehab facilities. There is so much more, but I have a very important appointment today, and I need to get ready for it, so have to stop here.
I just want you to know how very sorry I am that your husband, Geoffrey has passed. I HATE!!! saying this, because to me, words sound so shallow at times, now being one of them. However, there aren't any words to describe what I really want to say to you, so I hope you know how truly sorry I am. I'm so glad you found us, but so sorry you had to. I have made many friends here who "get" it, the feeling like your heart has been torn in half..., the unbelievable pain..., all the loneliness,... etc, etc., etc. I don't know how I would get through this if it wasn't for my GIC friends. I hope you'll stick around, get to "know" us, and give us the opportunity to get to "know" you. Please visit the loss of spouse section too. This is where you'll usually find us... We've become very close and are always ready to welcome new friends. BTW, Patti is a wonderful friend, and a great source of comfort to all of us.
I better stop here!!! I have lots I have to do before my appointment.
Sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB
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