Lost my dad then my mom and several other family members

It's been rough 2023 and 2024. My cousin died and I don't know if they had a funeral or mormorial I wasn't included . Growing up we had been close his was in May. My dad told me . I just recalled times from our childhood the good times. Heart attack and he was diagnosed with cancer. Then October my cousin in law died after cancer had returned she had faught a long battle. I really looked up to both of them . Then my dad who said he was having issues with his legs died from a heart attack December 30. My dad was 2 months shy of his 86 birthday . Heart deaise is in his family . He was in Florida and I didn't get to see him down there. Hard because he left my mom for another woman even though they were still legally married . I just felt it hard I couldn't make the mormorial I had been in a car accident and couldn't drive I don't fly. My is very badly my back is hury the train wasn't an option . We had planned to surprise him during the spring but my car was totaled. Back injury I can't drive far or long about 35 munits and no replacement car. I had to help with part of his final arguments and at least my mom was able to sign so he could get burried with the va he served his country. It took 4 months and Florida had no catholic cross so I used faith prayers symbol it also ment my dad believed in his higher power he had his own veiw on our religion. I left it the way the military had spelt his name dad said there was spelling errors. But he never told me about nobert when it's norbert only that he never cared for his middle name. I really wasn't left anything just his photo book and photo of His meeting friends there some of my mom . I hope the symbol was ok because to be Catholic it would need the rosery beeds . He wasn't Irish so that symbol wouldn't work and the heart with the thorns just made me cringe and the fish symbol just makes me think of pieces not Jesus. I took my time . I just wanted a catholic cross the plain one with the drape but they did not have it. My dad was Aquarius. I always forgave dad but my mom had such hardship. She payed the morgage off in 96 he was drinking but my mom held us together the best she could .She didn't have much of his sober days. I missed their last fight . I was long gone by then. Married had my frist child in 92. Mom did a baby shower for me or my friends did.Maybe they helped. Dad and I had a fight because of the house he wanted me to make sure it was sold if my mom passed before him .My brother still lives there and can not afford another place. They both left things really in a mess . My dad's girlfriend didn't probate his will but at least he has one. My mom we'd written one the way she wanted but we could not find her current ID. Even though I could have had it done she needed ID. Mom always misplaced things no it wasn't dementia it was her way.Great long term memory but short term no .So it could not be done. Before my mom died her neice s daughter died at 49. I would see her at family gatherings funerals and weddings. It just feels like loosing so much family . Herneice is ill and her dad is in hospice. How do you get through so much greif and pain ? Just keep going but there's probate which I might take on myself we don't have money and want to keep my family home. My dad and I talked on Christmas day it was a better conversation but I am not sure if I told him I loved him and my moms death was recent the heat wave made her die sooner. We knew she was getting weaker but the heat prevented us from being together for her last birthday I did talk to her on the phone my own family were having breathing issues we have 2 with asthma. I was able to see her the next day but she wasn't doing well and she had a heart attack and breathing was the issue . She had breast cancer that she hid and refused to treat.I tried to get her to the doctors but without my car she couldn't be persuaded throughout the last year of her life to see a doctor. She died in front of us the ambulance took for ever but the revive her en root but it was just done medically it was a comfort for my brother . It says she died at the hospital. My mom said she left ira to me . We not sure so we still looking in to it. My brother isn't cooperating and it's hard . I d let him stay in the home but probate has to happen it's not that I want to sell it cause we did have some good memories not all bad. Maybe we could get something better cherper that could keep the money in the family .As kids my brother was my moms favorite so we have a hard time getting along . He always got so much . He did have to care for her and that was hard . No money for help or nursing home my mom was terrified of them. I guess this was God's plan she stayed in her home not in a nursing home. My brother never made amends with my dad or says he hated him. I haven't done my own mormorial there was no funds . It just I feel lost I just want to save my parents home from her creditors even though it's really in bad shape. Crazy right. Greif comes in waves or not at all or I am soldering through.

 

Her neice husband not her dad

 

Hello Tinydancer59, I'm sorry that you and your family have had so much loss. Your story is a difficult one to be sure. My hope is that many of the issues surrounding the house, and your relationship with your brother can be resolved soon. These things make grieving so much harder.

What I'm really left with is how strong you've been, you are a grief warrior. I wish for you peace of mind and healing.

Bless you on your grief journey(s),
~ Michael