Lost my 34-year-old son after a long bout with mental illness

It was over two years ago and now I'm ready for a support group where I can talk about his loss. Doug was in and out of mental hospitals every six months from age 27 on. After becoming more and more estranged from my husband and I, he got into a car one day and collided head-on with a truck, dying instantly.

Was it suicide or just an impulse while he was in a psychotic state? I'll never know. A brilliant young man who was dealt a bad hand in life.

 

So extremely sorry for your loss. No one knows, who has not been through it, how very difficult these mental conditions are for the person or their family. We try to do everything in our power to help, yet it is not enough. The torment of a troubled mind is overwhelming-consumes you with worry day and night.
May God comfort you and give you the strength to bear up under this terrible tragedy and loss of a bright young man. My son said he thought it was a curse to be so brilliant because thoughts constantly bombard the mind until one can no longer take the torment.
Miss my son so much. This is the week of my birthday and his. You think you are 'over it' and doing well, but it always is the deepest hurt when it is triggered.
Love you,
Chris

 

Thank you, Chris. It's so nice to hear from you -- even though, as they say, this is the club no one wants to belong to.

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the pain you must be going through during "birthday week." I'd love to hear more about your son sometime when you care to share. Also, are you in any kind of a live support group? I think that's what I'm looking for next, someplace where I can talk openly with others who have experienced a major loss. ... Hugs.

 

Thanks for your kind note. My son was 28 years old and had graduated from college with a degree in teaching history. He never taught. When he finished college, it seemed like the bottom dropped out in his life. He was working with his dad painting houses, but this was not working out well. My husband thought he wasn't fast enough for them to earn enough money so Shawn was applying for disability. Shawn said he would have nothing to do. I tried to encourage him that we could do things together and when I was off work in the summer, we would have all day together--but it was not enough. He was so troubled-I think inherited bipolar disorder from my husband's mother. We lost him to suicide on Dec. 8, 2001, so it has been quite a long time.
I would like to hear about your son also.
I am a chairperson along with another lady for a grief support group. We have just started meeting every Monday in April, May, and June. We were supposed to meet last night, but no one showed up. We had the group last fall and usually had about 4-6 people. We live in a small town in the mountains of NC. We will keep meeting every week regardless, because you never know when someone is going to need help. Just telling you this is helping me to not give up the idea and to keep it going.
I appreciate your friendship so much. Two moms missing their dear troubled sons. I love you.
May God comfort you immensely.
Hugs to you.
Chris

 

Thanks for your kind note. My son was 28 years old and had graduated from college with a degree in teaching history. He never taught. When he finished college, it seemed like the bottom dropped out in his life. He was working with his dad painting houses, but this was not working out well. My husband thought he wasn't fast enough for them to earn enough money so Shawn was applying for disability. Shawn said he would have nothing to do. I tried to encourage him that we could do things together and when I was off work in the summer, we would have all day together--but it was not enough. He was so troubled-I think inherited bipolar disorder from my husband's mother. We lost him to suicide on Dec. 8, 2001, so it has been quite a long time.
I would like to hear about your son also.
I am a chairperson along with another lady for a grief support group. We have just started meeting every Monday in April, May, and June. We were supposed to meet last night, but no one showed up. We had the group last fall and usually had about 4-6 people. We live in a small town in the mountains of NC. We will keep meeting every week regardless, because you never know when someone is going to need help. Just telling you this is helping me to not give up the idea and to keep it going.
I appreciate your friendship so much.
May God comfort you immensely.
Hugs to you.
Chris