On June 10th my exhusband jumped off a bridge to his death. We had been estranged for 3 years, him choosing not to have contact with our son. We had started having amicable phone calls though. Anyway, I am really struggling with my "support" system. My 2 best friends have completely disappeared because of their own "hardships" I guess, so I have a lot of resentment towards them right now. My parents and sister were supportive at the beginning, but because of the way he treated me they think i should be over it already. And they have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. His family has been supportive but i still feel like an outsider since i hadn't spoken to them in 3 years as well. I'm feeling so incredibly alone. Like no one understand how much this has impacted me even though we were estranged. I'm staying strong for my son but inside I'm drowning.
It's such a hard place to be in, my son's dad also took his life and while we had been separated for a long time the pain and grief has been intense. I don't think people can understand that you've lost someone you loved, and your kids dad. It's like you are expected to be outside the situation but it is literally not possible. You will always have their child. I feel for you.
