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Loss of Mom

Discussion in 'Loss of a Parent' started by trivera83, Dec 2, 2024.

  1. trivera83

    trivera83 New Member

    she died september. my 3 sisters seem to be healing normally but i can not stop thinking or crying. i have all the mixed feelings. what makes it even harder is that the only comfort i get is when i have faith in some sort of afterlife, but i worry it may just be wishful thinking. all in all, i worry i will never get over this. she suffered so much for many years, but i guess the selfish person in me never wanted to lose her. we were best friends. she was my rock. everyone that meets me says i look exactly like she did in her younger (and healthy) days. i just want to hug her again. i'm 40 and i feel like i need to get a grip but i can not stop crying.
     
  2. David.M

    David.M New Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss of your mother and the degree grief you’ve been experiencing. I’ve been advised not to compare my grief with that of others. It makes a lot of sense and seems like good advice and a healthy approach to adopt. But honestly for me, it has been difficult having family members who seem to be adapting and moving forward in their own grief process, when I am nowhere close to that state.

    I can empathize with a lot of what you say, I lost my mother in September. We were very close and although I knew it would be incredibly difficult, it shook me in ways that I never anticipated. Her birthday in November and the Thanksgiving holiday brought me back to the state where I wonder if and how I will get to the point where I am more grounded emotionally and cognitively.

    Sending you positive thoughts during this difficult time.
     
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  3. trivera83

    trivera83 New Member

    thank you so much. "shaken" is a good word. there hasn't been a day i don't cry, and her birthday was in october, too, so it's been a difficult few months to say the least. they say things will get better and i'm sure i will eventually stop crying, but i feel confident that i will never truly have happiness again because a big part of my life and heart is gone. moments of happiness here and there, sure, but who knows. i hope you find the strength to get through.
     
    David.M likes this.
  4. I'm so sorry for what happened and for the incredible loss you are suffering. It does get better. My Dad died in April and I know what you mean about saying your parent was your rock. Parents are truly irreplaceable- their love is so pure, selfless, unconditional and perfect. I think with losing a parent there's a fear of living life without any more perfect support but that's not true. You have your Mom's DNA as you look a lot like her, years of training, encouraging, teaching- you are prepared for what lies ahead in life, she did prepare you. Also, she got you through turbulent teens, 20's and 30's, I believe the waters to come are calmer. You can do this. When I wake up and feel overwhelmed I just focus on what I need to do just that day. Well, I think people should take as long as they need to grieve, cry as much as they want, there's no set pattern of right and wrong. Big e-hug!! It gets better.
     
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  5. KathyBeth

    KathyBeth New Member

    My Mom died in October. I am still crying everyday. I have 3 siblings. I cry at work, I cry at home when the tears come I let them come. Luckily right now I am not bawling in front of others at strange times. But I am crying everyday still. This is so hard.
     
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  6. KathyBeth

    KathyBeth New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss.
     
  7. trivera83

    trivera83 New Member

    I cry at work often. It's sad we feel we have to pretend to be strong when all we want to do IS cry. I constantly cry but I try to at least be quiet crying in my cubicle vs. loud, to not make it awkward for others. I am sorry for your loss; here we are looking for a place to release our emotions that only others that have gone through can relate with. They say it gets better; I feel like we just learn how to live with the pain. But I know the experience is different for everybody.