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Loss of a relationship they say can be like death

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by FionnaR, Aug 3, 2021.

  1. FionnaR

    FionnaR Member

    I read an article that loss of a relationship, a breakup or divorce can be just as painful as a death of not worse because they are still alive and haunting you. I hate to admit it does feel like I'm crying and going nuts like it where a death. I'm in physical pain and depression. I feel alone because I lost the few friends I had during the pandemic. When I say lost I mean they decided only their closest people would be part of their bubbles and I was not included for whatever reason. Thats ok but it means I feel quite lonely and frightened at how unsupported and physically alone I am. We dated 6 years almost 7. We are or where beat friends and had an undeniable deep and rich relationship even of we argued too much. Our age gap and difference in where we where each at in life made it just not work out. So at the beginning of the pandemic he left for a little island in the pacific ocean, thousands of miles away from me. We tried to work it out long distance but that was very painful and lonely. He visited a few times. I thought for sure hed come back on his last visit and propose. He instead made it clear he would be staying over sea. He didn't like the town we met in anymore and I knew this was how he fealt but I also knew how we felt about each other and thought we had a chance. I was devastated. Angry, sad. He left and I have cried and been in physical pain feeling alone and like my soul mate is gone. He says he is barely keeping it together himself. Its such a weird experience to feel such profound loss. Its not just the loss of his physical presence its all the dreams and potential too. Does anyone relate to my story? I feel like people won't really understand the grief as being so deep because they say you'll find someone better crap. That may be true but this feels unbearable at times. Its crying thst comes in waves like wheather. Its a constant back ache and pit or hallow in my stomach. Its nausea and exhaustion and depression.
     
  2. Angelfish

    Angelfish Member

    I was with a guy for 25 years and finally was engaged and he walked out on me. I moved closer to my mom to be with her and 3 years later she died. Three months after that my best friend died. I am an only child of 2 only children. I spent most of the pandemic literally totally alone. I still go days without any human contact and haven’t had so much as a hug in over a year or two. I lost track. I’ve spent every holiday and birthday etc totally alone. I’m 47 and feel like I’m just waiting to die.
     
  3. Matt71

    Matt71 Member

    Hi, understand your levels of grief, loss. I am experiencing similar issues
     
  4. Pejj

    Pejj Active Member

    Has anyone lost a parent that failed to support you after something bad happened, and yet they maintained a relationship for years after with that person who hurt you? I divorced him, but my parents kept up a relationship with him.
     
  5. Yva

    Yva New Member

    Im so sorry and really hope you will find the strength to find new meanings in life. I try to fill my spare time with activities, even though I'd rather stay in bed... I signed up for a dance class, force myself to go there once a week, have met new people and the teacher is a true inspiration. Try to think of new things you can bring into your life. Lots of love and support /Y
     
  6. Pejj

    Pejj Active Member

    LOL I am embroiled in blogging it seems. About my art Shibui, about poetry, my grief of Thomas. And other things. The writing helps. I don't feel as heavy so much of the time.