I lost her in early December, and here I am STILL crying and feeling like the very day, it does not get easier with time, seems like it gets harder . I go thru my days like a zombie lost from within, trying to hold it together. But how??? When I feel dead inside.
I am sorry for your pain. It does get better with time, but you have had so little time for it to get any better. This grief walk is sometimes a slow walk. We can't rush it. Try to just take one day at a time or if necessary just one hour at a time. You have been through a great shock and your mind and heart will only slowly accept the reality of it. I thought I couldn't go even one day after we lost our son to suicide, but I did make it one day at a time by the grace of God. The dead feeling is because you have lost someone very precious to you. It feels like someone ripped a piece of your heart out, and what could be harder to endure than this? You can find the comfort you are looking for in the Lord Jesus Christ. The scriptures tell us He can understand our pain because He experienced it himself. When Lazarus died, Jesus cried. Be honest with yourself about your feelings. Don't expect to feel a certain way just because someone else says you should. You will receive comfort and healing from Jesus if you call on Him to help you. He really is our only source of strength in a time like this, so that we can hang on and make it through the worst of it. You are in the hardest part of the grief walk. Just keep walking and doing whatever little thing you can each day. If you have gotten up and cleaned up, you have accomplished a great deal. Be kind to yourself and don't expect more from yourself than you are able to give. We know how hard it is and we know you can make it through this awful tragedy because we thought we couldn't, but we did. Hang onto hope with all your might. God will rescue you. Rest in the lord and wait patiently for Him. He loves you with an everlasting love that will not let you down. Chris
I have to agree with Chris on this one. I lost my wife on 12/30/2023. We had been together for 39 years and married for 34. I still miss her massively each and every day. Taking it one day at time is the only way I can cope. In addition, I have found a lot of comfort through our Lord Jesus Christ. Without him I could not make it through each day. Maybe look into something like GriefShare (Christian based Grief Group therapy). This has done wonders for me. Just somthing to consider.
I refer to the words of a fellow member who aptly described the passage of time since the fateful day that we all experienced. He said, "Sometimes it feels like an eternity, and sometimes like the blink of an eye." The tears and the pain are just as real far down the road as they were on the day after. The fact that you are still crying and feeling like the very day it happened is to be expected by any of us. I have found that the only consistent relief for me from my grief and pain comes from His words not only throughout the Bible, but with this one particular passage. Jesus told us in the Sermon on the Mount, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Sage advice from the One Who Knows. I have relied on those words many times when I found myself overwhelmed by circumstances. Narrowing my focus to just today has provided the way forward. I hope you can find peace in your life.
Calilove - I am sending you a HUG. The others have written so beautifully about what we go though when we lose that special someone. I do hope a HUG will help a little.
Hi! I lost my bestie Valerie over 3 and a half years ago. I felt so dead inside. I liked nothing I used to like and had no interests at all! We were together 34 years and I watched her suffer and die on me.. It took three years to be able to pull myself together. The only thing that will help is time passing. I have like 10 notebooks detailing my anguish since I had no one to talk to. You can and will do it for yourself and her spirit... Not trying to brightside you. This has been my life, and it truly sucks at times! I don't go into the whole Jesus thing, but if that gives you comfort .. great.
Cali, I hope you are feeling calmer today. You are still early on this journey. Take your time don't rush and don't expect things to suddenly get better. As eyepilot said the passing of time is the best healing strategy. For now try to remember the good memories and take one day at a time. Many have said they found getting outside helped whether it was a long walk or just standing outside the door. May my HUGS and the hugs of others be of comfort to you. c
Good day, I hope you are finding some peace in your days. HUGS. Just letting you know we are thinking about you and care about you.
