Losing My Sister

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by MarioKiki, Dec 9, 2021.

  1. MarioKiki

    MarioKiki Member

    I lost my sister suddenly on April 4, 2021. It was just another ordinary day, and that's usually the case when your life decides to change. I live about a half hour away from my sister's house, and she lived w/ my parents. My parents happened to be out of town, and since I usually visit all of them, I decided to wait for my parents to arrive back in town so I can visit them all at the same time. My usual routine of arriving in the morning wasn't followed that day. I got a phone call around 7 PM from my brother saying that my sister wasn't waking up. I rushed over. And when I got there, she had died. She died in her sleep due to a drug overdose. I didn't even know she was using painkillers to cope with life. I have so much regret. I feel like I failed her as a brother. We spoke every day. I spoke to her on April 3, and she was gone on April 4. There are days that are harder than others. I'm struggling to somehow make this my new "normal" -- How do I rationalize this feeling of despair, guilt, grief, and continue without her? I have been for the last eight months, but they have been the hardest eights months I've had. I didn't realize my sister was my best friend until she was gone. I took her for granted. She was the baby of the family, and I just assumed she'd the be the one who'd have to bury all of us. I had experienced death in my life, but nothing this traumatic and sudden. I miss my sister daily, and have tried many ways to cope with not having her in my life. I started meditating, journaling, and I'm in therapy, but somedays, it doesn't feel like enough. I see her in my dreams. My heart breaks for my parents, siblings, and for all of us on this website who are bonded by the same tragic circumstance. I offer my support to everyone. I'm here if you ever need to vent, or just have a grief partner.